The Darwin awards, 2005

So these may not be the real Darwin Awards, I still find them amusing.


1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim
during a holdup in Long Beach, California, would be robber James
Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the
barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked..... And now,
the honorable mentions:


2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting
machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his
insurance company. The company, suspecting negligence, sent out one of its
men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and lost a finger.
The chef's claim was approved.


3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car
during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had
taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.


4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver
found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting
from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence,
the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a
free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling
the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre
fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.


5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head
wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the
injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close
he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.


6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the
counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the
man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk
promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled,
leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from
the drawer. $15 (If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a
crime committed?)


7. A thief burst into a Florida bank one day wearing a ski mask and
carrying a gun. Aiming his gun at the guard, the thief yelled,
"FREEZE, MOTHER-STICKERS, THIS IS A F***-UP!" For a moment, everyone was
silent. Then the snickers started. The security guard completely lost it and
doubled over laughing. It probably saved his life, because he'd been about
to draw his gun. He couldn't have drawn and fired before the thief
got him. The thief ran away and is still at large. In memory of the
event, the banker later put a plaque on the wall engraved with the words,
"Freeze, mother-stickers, this is a ****-up!"


8. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that
he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some
booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his
head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief
on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of
Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.


9. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man
grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman
was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within
minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and
drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to
stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's
her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."


10. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a
Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and
demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open
the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings,
the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked
away.


5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER!


11. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on
a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived
at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near
spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying
to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage
tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges,
saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

Are you sure these are legit?

I've pretty much heard these before, but the official Darwin Website hasn't been updated since 2003.

http://www.darwinawards.com/darwin/

Maybe the Darwin Award's time has come and gone, and it's dying out?

The site has been updated with May '05 postings and a Darwin Award nominee from WV from 2004, but maybe it has lower traffic than in the past. However, I think the stuff Naomi posted was not true Darwin stuff based on the site. Maybe the new stuff goes into the books where they make more $$$

Oh well, I received these in an e-mail from a friend so I assumed they were true. Truely Darwin or not, I thought they were pretty funny.

Firey's Law of E-mail: Any shocking or hard-to-believe "fact" that has been forwarded to you by e-mail is probably false.

Corollary 1: The likelihood that the e-mail is false increases as the number of "FWD"s in the subject line increases.

Corollary 2: If the e-mail says something to the effect of "Forward this to everyone you know," the "fact" contained in the e-mail is almost certainly false.

Oh Tom, stop being such a spoil sport! We like our far-fetched cyber stories!

With as boring as this forum has been lately, I figured I'd post something I thought was funny...sue me!

Note: I've changed the topic and added a disclaimer.

I don't understand. When the forum was full of heated arguments about gays, the president, Iraq, etc., folks complained because of all the aruging. Now everybody complains it's boring around here.

I don't get it.

You still have Idiot's posts to look forward to then! And his bud K9, too.