Has anyone seen Jeeves today? He's dressed like a pirate. See - Jeeves.

It's international talk like a pirate day!



I’ve sailed the seven seas, and you’re the sleekest schooner I’ve ever sighted.

Where's that blasted wench Dragonlady?

Shiver me timbers.

Excellent! That's the spirit!

Avast ye scallywags.

Arrrrrrr....

There's a whole website dedicated to Talk like a pirate day.

Here are the Top Ten Pickup lines for use on "International Talk Like a Pirate Day"

10 . Avast, me proud beauty! Wanna know why my Roger is so Jolly?

9. Have ya ever met a man with a real yardarm?

8. Come on up and see me urchins.

7. Yes, that is a hornpipe in my pocket and I am happy to see you.

6. I'd love to drop anchor in your lagoon.

5. Pardon me, but would ya mind if fired me cannon through your porthole?

4. How'd you like to scrape the barnacles off of me rudder?

3. Ya know, darlin’, I’m 97 percent chum free.

2. Well blow me down?

And the number one pickup line for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day is …

1. Prepare to be boarded.

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YE, YE STUCK UP SHE-SHARK!?!

Oh, pretty wench with chest so busty, /don't look and only see the crusty /parts of me all soiled and dusty /when all they need is some carnal lusty.

Your head is fine and oh, so wooden. /Do you mind if I call you "Puddin'?"/ I'll tell ye stories, both bad and good 'uns./ I say I should, you say, I should'n.

So many loves, so many pretties /so many ports, so many cities/ I'd love true passion, but I'd take pities, /or trade you beads to see your titties.

Please don't be angry, miffed or irate, /don't fire ten cannons don't even fire eight, /or tempt the gods and earn their ire late /just don't be slow to love your pirate.

AHOY HOW ARE YOU DOING?WELL I JUST WANT TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE ANY IDEAL ABOUT PIRATE IN NIGERIA BECAUSE WE HAVE THEM MUCH HERE IN NIGERIA I WANT TO KNOW IF YOU GUY ARE HAVING PLAN FOR THE PIRATE HERE IN WEST AFRICA,I GO THROUGH THE SITE I MEAN TALKLIKEAPIRATE I WANT TO KNOW ALL THIS,I AWAIT YOUR URGENT REPONCE THANKS

- ANON

AHOY!

WE DON'T HAVE MUCH GOING ON IN NIGERIA OR WEST AFRICA AS OF YET, BUT IF YE'RE GOING TO PLAN A PARTY, WE WOULD LOVE TO HEAR ABOUT IT! THIS IS ABOUT AS URGENT AS ANY OF ME RESPONSES GET! HOWEVER, MY UNCLE, CLAPPY McSLAPPY HAS SOME TREASURE HE WOULD LIKE TO TRANSFER TO AN OFF SHORE ACCOUNT HE WOULD LIKE TO SET UP ON SOMEONE'S NAME. THIS COULD MEAN MILLIONS IN DUBLOONS TO A TOTAL STRANGER AND HE WOULD BE SACRIFICING, BUT NO MATTER, THESE THINGS MUST BE DONE SECRETLY AND UNDER COVER. PLEASE RESPOND URGENTLY AND AWAIT THE MANY, MANY BLESSINGS OF THE McSLAPPY CLAN.

p.p.s. Me first mate, Beowulf the scarer of small children, would like to tell ye that he wants to knock ye down lick yer face and sniff yer bum (mind ye this be me own translation, he don't speak english bein' a dog and all)

hi ,

my friends hav left me and told everyone that i am lezo wen i'm not i dont want to go to skool 2moro help and i told the office

- Anon.

Ahoy Schooless!

Judgin' from yer spellin', ye don't need no school no-how! Whatever they tried to teach ye has wandered off and gotten itself Shanghaied. And while I have no idearrr what a "lezo" is - a fun-loving clown? - Let's just assume that if you had ever had friends to begin with, they would never have called you that. So, don't go feelin' like ye LOST anything! You were just horribly mislead before.

One quick question about "tellin' the office." What office did ye tell and was there a person nearby to witness it? If not, ye may want to try talkin' to a real person and not a room designated for the organization of a larger infrastructure.

The best I can offer is that ye should perk up some and if they continue to spread falsehoods about ye, deliver a savage beatin' with yer fists and forehead.

SMan and Rom

Dear cap'n slappy,

i was wondering, how fast would a Jedi kill a pirate? Or how about a regular knight? or a samuri? Did you know the Sith were originally going to be Force-sensitive Pirates?

Ahoy Luke Skywalker,

If by "kill" you mean, "bore the pirate to death," I think any viewing of a Star Wars movie ought to do the trick - so what is that? Six hours?

A regular "K-Nig-hit" would most likely fall off the ship into the water and be dragged down to Davy Jones' locker in his tin can shell.

And who's to say that a Samurai (that's how ye spell it by the way) wouldn't team up with pirates to kick some ninja ass?

As for your last question, I have no idea what ye be talkin' about - but I bet that kind o' talk gets ye beat up at school. Live long and prosper,

Here Now!!

Who be pretendin like that they be pirates eh!!!??

Bloody landlubbers all of ye! Get back down to the bowels of the ship and get to work! All of ye! Blasted scurvey,lice infested,dirty,black hearted dogs!
I'll be takin the whip to ye iffin ye don't heed the words of Annie Rose,first mate and quartermaster of this here ship!


God save ye(and if he can't,maybe he can the ones around ye)!

Arrrgg! Ye most feard pirates of em all!!

Buccaneers and dont ye forget it!

Yo ho ho n a botle o rum!

If you go downtown to the library, everyone is dressed up and they are serving grog and cookies. Tonight they are showing Pirates of the Caribbean at 7pm I think. Might wanna call to confirm the time if ye be interested.

I brought this up earlier, but nobody noticed
http://www.herald-mail.com/forums/index.ph...pic=753&st=2910

see post 2913!

Ninjas would so win that fight.
Arrrrr here be ninjas




................Oh yeah, arrrrrrrr

This pirate walks into a bar with a big ship's wheel down his pants. The bartender says, "Excuse me, sir, but do you know you have a ship's wheel down the front of your pants?"
And the Pirate says, "Aaaarrrrrrgh, yes and its driving me nuts!"

a little kid with a speech impediment dresses up as a pirate and goes trick or treating. he knocks on the door of a house and a man answers. "oh, i can see you're dressed up as a pirate." the man says. "but where are your buccaneers?" the kid gets really mad, and says "on the sides of my buckin' head!"

A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened, you look terrible!"
"What do you mean?" the pirate replies, "I'm fine."
The bartender says, "But what about that wooden leg? You didn't have that before."
"Well," says the pirate, "We were in a battle at sea and a cannon ball hit my leg but the surgeon fixed me up, and I'm fine, really."
"Yeah," says the bartender, "But what about that hook? Last time I saw you, you had both hands."
"Well," says the pirate, "We were in another battle and we boarded the enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and my hand was cut off but the surgeon fixed me up with this hook, and I feel great, really."
"Oh," says the bartender, "What about that eye patch? Last time you were in here you had both eyes."
"Well," says the pirate, "One day when we were at sea, some birds were flying over the ship. I looked up, and one of them shat in my eye."
"So?" replied the bartender, "what happened? You couldn't have lost an eye just from some bird shit!"
"Well," says the pirate, "I really wasn't used to the hook yet."

Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the waves, a captain and his crew were in danger of being boarded by a pirate ship. As the crew became frantic, the captain bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!"
The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt, which the captain put on and led the crew to battle the pirate boarding party.

Although some casualties occurred among the crew, the pirates were repelled. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending boarding parties. The crew cowered in fear, but the captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!"

Once again the battle was on. However, the Captain and his crew repelled both boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred.

Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's occurrences when an ensign looked to the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?"

The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, exhorted, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the wound and thus, you men will continue to fight unafraid."

The men sat in silence marveling at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way.

The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my brown pants!"