"Harpers Ferry Barbie"
This princess Barbie is sold only at The Tysons Galleria . She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade and Coach Handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey, and a 200-year-old perfectly restored house. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with the augmented version.
"Martinsburg Barbie"
The modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar Minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation. The three children all under the age of 5, Nextel Cell Phone, and Factory Worker Ken are all sold separately.
[b]" [/b]Race Street Barbie"
This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a Meth Lab Kit. This model is only available after dark and must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceable bills) ... unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about.
" Locust Hill Barbie"
This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card, and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.
"Hedgesville Barbie"
This pale model comes dressed in her own Faded Glory jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR t-shirt, and tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Schlitz and a Hank Williams Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's a$s when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free.
"Ranson Barbie"
This collagen injected, rhino plastic Barbie wears a leopard print outfit and drinks apple martinis while entertaining friends. Percocet prescription available as well.
"Summit Point Barbie"
This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased beer-gutted Ken out of Fox Glen Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter-top. Also available with a mobile home.
"Shepherdstown Barbie"
This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair, arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup, and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her Willow . She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Shepherdstown Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for free.
"Fox Glen Barbie"
This Barbie is 17 years of age and now comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional accessories include a GED and welfare card. Gangsta Ken and his 1979 Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of the infant.
"Inwood Barbie"
She believes she's perfect in every way. We don't know where Ken is because he's always out a-huntin'.
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