I'd like to know why the newspaper on NBC25 is not monitoring the dead beat parent's not paying their child support. I know of one case that the man is over $9000.00 behind and DSS is giving him yet another chance. He's been locked up twice now for it, and upon a review hearing for an increase he up and quit his job. What's he do goes to work for a local trucking company and didn't turn it in to DSS, making him further behind. Just because the woman works and does all she can to support her children does not make him exempt from paying. Quit his job on Sept 17th and to date has not paid nor turned in his new employeement. Blattened disregard of the system and he should spend time locked up. What ever happened to pictures of these low lifes being printed in the paper for all to see just how common they are. My wife and I took from our own to help this woman out this year for Christmas, What a peice of common well you know this man is.

Sounds like hes pretty good at dodging his payments.

I got it.

Maybe one reason they don't post pictures of those in arrears is because the whole system is screwed up and it doesn't benefit a child to have their parent's picture posted like a common criminal. After all, the Child Support system claims to be in the best interest of the child. Children need both parents responsibly taking care of them. Oh, don't get me started!

Merry Christmas Eve!

Checkingin
Why not get you started. Yes the system is so messed up it's not funny. That I agree with. But in the same token the system also allows only the chosen one's to slide through. In this case I'm close too this man up and quit's his job when the preasure get's on him. Why not post his picture? Let the entire world know exactly what kind of bum he is. He enjoyed the time at making them why not enjoy the time of seeing his face posted all over the newspaper. And as for his kids seeing it, Oh well did you ever stop to think that they may already know what a looser he is. I'm sure they've heard why they can't get this or that at the store with their Mother whol's working 2 job's to make ends meat, why not put him where he belongs.

Yes, if what you're saying is true, sounds like he could be a loser. Or maybe just completely overwhelmed with the arrears and giving up. I can't say. I don't know him.

But, as far as putting a parent (mom or dad's ) picture out there for punishment.... I think it's stupid. The kids will get teased and harrassed by other kids and people will just do more gossiping. It's always the children that get hurt. They don't care about money as much as they do about loving their parents. And kids even love parents who are losers. They're funny that way. Not like us adults who think it's ok to put down a parent and even sometimes in front of the kids.

I still say if people can go to jail for not paying child support, then every penny that is collected by the other parent should be accounted for. They should be able to be audited at anytime to make sure the money is spent on the child and his/her needs.
Too much abuse, in my opinion. And, of course, the state benefits financially for every dollar they collect. Kinda sounds like a bit of conflict of interest to me.

I've posted this in the past. Here it is again. Gives an idea of why the system is messed up.

http://ancpr.org/wrong2.html

Ok I got it too,,,, You're picking on me for the Dodge thing right./????? OMG I'm such a blonde.

[quote name='Checkingin' date='Dec 26 2007, 07:39 PM' post='94034']

"But, as far as putting a parent (mom or dad's ) picture out there for punishment.... I think it's stupid. The kids will get teased and harrassed by other kids and people will just do more gossiping. It's always the children that get hurt. They don't care about money as much as they do about loving their parents. And kids even love parents who are losers. They're funny that way. Not like us adults who think it's ok to put down a parent and even sometimes in front of the kids.", Checks

EXCELLENT Checkingin.... I think how sad my kids were when they witnessed other kids teasing another kid. Usually, it was someone with a lot of their own issues lashing out at disabled kids or those doing well. The mean kids would probably jump all over a kid who had a parent in the headlines or listed as a deadbeat parent. Being a child or a teen is really hard these days. We adults might not see it. Kids will say and do horrendous things during class, and not be seen or heard by their teacher. The level of sneakiness is incredible. Some who are cruel are clueless, others are very calculating. Yup, they would have no problem targeting a kid whose parent was listed as a deadbeat.

So, putting their Dad or Mom's short comings in the paper would definitely affect the child more than the adult. Adults behaving badly do not care. Some parents are clueless and they would even like their picture in the paper. Kids on the other hand are vulnerable, & care a lot. Kind of like, "Two wrongs will make a right"...NO

Thanks I'm reading it now. And for the record she offered to do with out C/S but was refussed. So why not make him pay. ? If it were me and (thank God its not) I would make sure that my child would need nothing as long as it was in a true need. See that's where I have the problem I've never been there and it really irritates me to see the absent parent just buying what ever they want and letting it up the the custodial parent to fend for the child. EEERRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!

Like you, DodgeMan, I will never understand why people won't take care of their own children. But, the system has alot of bias against the fathers and takes them out of the picture completely, sometimes, if the custodial parent is a hard head. I don't know why this father is not willing to care for his kids. He could just be a lazy bum, or maybe not. There's a whole lot of reasons why fathers will give up and stop giving money. Many times, they just want to be able to take care of their children themselves and not have to pay someone else to do it. But, the system generally does not favor fathers. And they are reduced to a pay check. Many give up. It's really sad and not in the best interest of the children at all. It should be understood and accepted that if two people divorce (no-fault) , then they will share custody of the kids. And the state should stay out of the money control.

"Deadbeat Parents?"

Divorce or plain abandonment is tragic for kids. If both parents are decent & put the child first life works.

It is a nightmare for the kid once one parent makes their mind up to discount the other parent. Doubly sad is when a wonderfully decent parent is denied access, it short changes the child. Or one parent won't pay at all. And sad when one refuses to visit. Wow, there r many ways to be deadbeat. Sometimes it is blocking the parent from participating.

So may variations. So many different ways to react...My heart breaks for the caring parents who are squeezed out of a kid's life by the other's ego or new partner. That is also cruel.

Then there are the looser parents, that is a different story. They never wanted to be a parent and the child feels that burn. Not visiting your kid can be very hurtful. Granted, abusive parents need not bother but if its just a matter of convience, make the effort. When the checks stop, govt agencies or friends to pick up the difference. Would be nice to keep govt out but if mom or dad refuse to pay, govt has to step in and garnish the wages. These r the kids who show up at school w/ worn shoes, dirty, & hungry. A kid's wellbeing is already emotionally screwed up by a deadbeat parent or one who won't visit. Let the kid have clothes and food, as well as CARING and SAFE adults in their lives.

Agree: would be great to leave it up to parents. Some rise to the responsibility with love, concern & action.
Others try but are blocked, gotta feel their pain. Then the low lifes, the true deadbeats could care less.

There r parents who are so hateful towards their former mates in front of their kids. Some feel justified to be hateful. In the end, it is a waste of neg energy, doesn't help the kid feel good. Others r just mean for the sake of being controlling. Wish all kids were put first by both parents. So many variations on the topic. It is hard to understand the pain.

I'm one of the parents that get child support. Yea a whole $60 per week, better then nothing.
But what would be better would be, if my ex would keep his money and come visit the children.
Which he hasn't did since, we got divorced back in 2000. You can't win for losing.

Child support don't mean swat to me, when the father won't even come to see his own children. For me it was never about how much child support I could get, it was about him coming to visit or even take them for a day or two and spend time with his own children.

With the rising cost of living, I don't think some get enough child support. Child support just isn't to buy clothes, shoes, etc. It's also goes to help with keep a roof over their heads, food in the belly, and so on. At least that's what some judge told my friend's father years ago. Guess it depends on how you look at it.

No matter what both parents do after splitting up. The children still get stuck in the middle. All I ever told my children was that he left me for someone else. That's all they ever knew. That's all they needed to know. That's all I ever told them about their father.

Wow! Great post! Really gives a good picture of all the problems and how greatly the kids suffer. I read an article recently about a new program starting called something like "The Civil Divorce." I'll have to look for it when I can and post it. Lawyers are now beginning to see how much damage anger and revenge can have on the children and are opting to help couples through to a solution that works best for the family. Both parties have to be willing to talk and work it out, but I can see it as a good thing for the future. I'll post it soon. May help some in the midst of divorce.

So wish the world could be more forgiving and loving and we wouldn't have to have so many divorces. But, ain't gonna happen any time soon.

I guess your right about the kids' being the one's that get picked on. But What about the abusive parent's that just plain down right out refuse to pay for there support.? They do all they can to get out of paying? Those are the one's that ought to be posted. They can go out and buy and buy and buy but not pay a dime in trying to catch up on there obligation. That's the one's that need be posted. Or they can make darn sure they have what they need but don't give a rat's ass about the children he or she enjoyed making. DSS really needs to crack down on the support thing and get strick with it. Quit allowing the bum's to get by Very simple Lock em up and keep them scrubbing floor's walls, what ever while in jail until thier arrear's are caught up. Then let them back out. They should legally be allowed to go sease their personal belonging's do what ever they have to do to get the money from the scum. Sorry I just feel that if DSS were to do this we'd see less children suffering. Meaning they'd have nicer things in life.

Ya know; I never got any more than 16.00 a month per kid in child support (Jefferson County) and when I got sick and almost died, the court continued to deny me support. The ex did not even take care of the kids while I was in the hospital overnight, and has not seen his kids in years. I ended up having to move to a different locale, and now I am married to a wonderful guy who really cares for my children. We have tried to communicate with my ex and get him to at least come and see the kids, but he does not see the importance. He did try to get the judge to order me to move back, but that apparently wasn't something that could be done................Child support? It's very true that there are more important things.

Here's the article I was talking about earlier. Seems like a step in the right direction, IMO.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22315262/

Then there are the looser parents, that is a different story. They never wanted to be a parent and the child feels that burn. Not visiting your kid can be very hurtful. Granted, abusive parents need not bother but if its just a matter of connivance, make the effort. When the checks stop, govt agencies or friends to pick up the difference. Would be nice to keep govt out but if mom or dad refuse to pay, govt has to step in and garnish the wages. These r the kids who show up at school w/ worn shoes, dirty, & hungry. A kid's wellbeing is already emotionally screwed up by a deadbeat parent or one who won't visit. Let the kid have clothes and food, as well as CARING and SAFE adults in their lives.

Ok now we're getting somewhere. What do you do when Both parents ARE! like this statement.? As for the kids showing up at school with worn out clothing and shoes and not having lunch or breakfast money that's not the case with our grandchildren because we've done it for them. It's been like having children all over again except for the So Called Parent's, want to visit with them. It's ok from the system's standpoint that Mom leaves the kids with a sitter for day's upon day's, or leaves them at the Grandparent's house so she can go run, and it's ok for the Father to stop and visit and not pay a cent to support them, (meaning get so far behind he'll never get caught up) But then the system turn around and say The parent's that gave these kids life has more Rights then a Grandparent is sickening. The So Called parent's in this situation is nothing more then low life trash, and they have been helped until we're blue in the face. But they had sex made kids and they have Rights!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We've paid for Anger management classes for the father, Offered to pay for classes for Parenting programs for the Father and paid the Father's bills for a while. But He still took the children to DSS and said " I can't handle them" But he's still a "FIT" parent according to the court's. Then theirs the Mother, Well now what do we do here? Too Much to list. Starting with Tuff love through to turning our backs on her. She no longer exists as our child in our books. It's like she died to us. Her involvement with drug's and gangs has done it for us. Our best hope's and prayers would be that the Father finally takes his part in doing a Parental role we pray that it continues and works in the best interest of the children. But It won't be long He too will get the itch an want to move onto greener pastures and want that taste of freedom and then what? The kids will be holding him down and then look out!!!! They will receive the wrath of his temper!!!!!! But even after showing the court system's this type of Wrath and what he's capable of they feel he's the better choice for the up raising of his sperm donation. Gee My God the law's are really not in the best interest of a child.

I understand your frustration, but in MOST cases, interference from grandparents into the upbringing of a child would be inappropriate. Yet many grandparents would interfere to the child's detriment if they could get away with it. I know a grandmother (really a step-grand-mother) who allows all kinds of unlawful activities on her property and whose home is searched by the police at least a couple of times a year because there is almost always someone there for whom there is an outstanding warrent. She has one law abiding child and feels that her law abiding child is "closed minded" for refusing to allow any unlawful activities around the kids. This grandmother has even gone to the lengths of attempting to use "grandparent" rights to try to muscle her way into these childrens' lives and show them how "people really live". Luckily, the laws have not supported this grandmother, and the children are safe. Also, this step grandmother really appears to want to carry on a legacy of abuse. I know your situation is different, but a court can only process so much info at a time, and has a legal obligation to grant the same rights to as many citizens in as many situations as possible for the sake of equality and justice. The laws cannot favor anyone or appear to favor anyone. If you suddenly got grandparents rights carte blanche, the laws would be obliged to grant the same to other grandparents. Then other Maryland children, such as the family I described, would be in serious danger. And.........I know for a fact that if anyone tried to tell me how to raise my children or who they HAD to visit at certain times (barring, of course, the bio-dad, should he ever care about them) I would be a bit resentful.

Sirunisun
This is all to true with your comment's. And yes I do agree with you. The one thing I totally disagree with is the law's of Support, and the Law's of Abuse/neglect. When you have the situation we have on our shoulders you see things totally different. We've raised our children (1 Girl, and 1 Boy) to the best of our abilities. Our Son is the younger of them and he is a Model citizen. Both our kids were straight A honor roll student's. For that we can't be anymore prouder of them. But when it came to our daughter things with her was pure hell, Physical violent towards my wife and our son from age 14 to 17. IF my wife were to tell me she was expecting again(Thank God we can't anymore) and it was a girl Sorry to say this and God forgive me, But I'd demand she have the baby aborted. There's no way I'd ever raise another girl. She put us through the pit's of Hell itself. When our son moved out it tour us up. We've never had a problem with him, Ok he's a Mommies boy sad for me but it's all good. And our son has always maintained to work 2 jobs to support his own self and right down to it helped us with some minor bills while living at home. We never had to ask him for it he just did it. With her it's always been a hand out and if you didn't give, there'd be hell to pay. In our situation the grandkids have been left alone for hours on end, subject to drinking alcohol, watching drug deals. and living in fear their entire lives. We have letters from the schools to back what I'm saying and black and white proof and the court still say "Until the Children's LIFE is in danger" There's nothing we can do. Sad but true.
As for Grandparent's raising the Grandkids in this house the same rules have applied to the grandkids as well as our own kids did. Now did Grandpap give in faster Oh you bet he did. But that all depended on what it was. Our daughter has went to the length of making comment's of sexual abuse towards me because of us refusing to lie to local law enforcement. It's unfortunate but Drugs and the power of them have taken her life over and we've lost our daughter forever. The door will never re-open on this end, we've done enough to try and help and now we've turned our backs totally on her. Frankly it's a shame to say and I know I'm gonna catch hell for this, But we'd rather see her in a casket then doing what she's doing. I think it would be much easier on us. We never raised her in that manor and we did our best to guide her away from it. But the old saying goes "You may lead a horse to the water, But you ain't going to get him to drink" This is the case here. But who knows Once she's in prison maybe and I stress the Maybe, she'll see the light and come to realize but it's going to be too late then. Oh and the Father ain't far behind her as far as jail goes, He's over $5000.00 behind on his other 2 kids from his affairs. Sad but true.
You know I wish that I'd just have 1 month of the money I've spent on her alone. The grandkids your darn right I'll continue to keep their trust funds going. That she'll never get, I control it!!!!!! Even after I'm dead and gone. That's why they make wills.

Hmmm.......I am very sorry to hear all this, Dodgeman....but could mental illness play an undertermined role in all this? If someone could convince your daughter to see a doc, and that doc could convince her to try meds.....it really sounds like that could make a major difference. I wouldn't blame her gender.

Siriunsun
I don't blame her Gender, I blame her. The person that can help her is herself, but she has to want to first. We're worn out from trying so we just write her off.