I cannot believe DHHR in Jefferson and Berkeley Counties are crying the blues about finally having to do their jobs.........Gosh....Just getting court orders enforced required getting my representatives involved! And collecting on a workman's comp claim from Maryland......all DHHR in WV could do was cry the blues about having to communicate with another state.......yours truly finally got Maryland to send the appropriate amount to DHHR in WV herself (which was not her job, that was DHHR's job) and continue to not even try to find the ex's current employment. I finally moved to a state where they actually collect child support, and viola....no more serious issues.......

Of course, WV could make it easier for DHHR by passing laws that actually carry some consequences for non-payment and allowing DHHR to prosecute and sanction just as other states do. The laws here were written by men, back in the days when it was assumed that the woman in a divorce would automatically be the custodial parent. So.....the laws naturally favor the non-custodial parent. If the legislature in WV would kindly look at that and revise the laws accordingly, with the CHILD'S best interest in mind, I think DHHR would be able to be much more effective.

Still......my heart just bleeds for them..................

I think this is the artical:
http://www.herald-mail.com/?cmd=displaysto...amp;format=html

MARTINSBURG, W.Va. - Past-due child support payments in Berkeley, Jefferson and Morgan counties topped $56.4 million at the end of last month - part of $769.3 million owed statewide - according to the West Virginia Bureau of Child Support Enforcement.

The three Eastern Panhandle counties were among the worst of the state's 55 counties for the rate of current support being collected. Jefferson County ranked 43rd at 62.3 percent, Morgan County was 49th (60.3 percent) and Berkeley County ranked 50th (60.1 percent).




seems to me that if they would've done their job to begin with that they wouldn't have been " swamped". Ya know, if you get off your fat a$$, get in your car and go track these idiots down, you just may have better luck in collecting. Knowing what some of these people actually LOOK like instead of them being case numbers, just might help get it across to them that you know who they are and are intending on collecting.

that's a good point about "people, not case numbers". that goes for the kids too. stop trying to get out of paying for your children! stop letting children be "statistics" and sad ones, at that! its' sad that things seem to have gotten to such a sad state... for every unpaid child support case, that's a child who is being made to suffer because of someone else's laziness.

Not always the case. You know me, I could write a book about the child support crap. It's not about the child at all. Yeah, there are all kinds of unfit parents, men and women, who don't take care of their children. But, child support is a farce. It ends up being more of alimony. No accountability for how the money is spent. And, of course, it takes all the parental power out of the father's hands (in general). So, it is NOT about the children. It's about the money and the state conflict of interest.

Read up on how the child support system works and you'll be angry. Unless a parent is unfit, a divorce should begin with joint custody. The law takes upon itself to make the children suffer when they can't see their parents as much as they want. Really sad and You know me, I hate it when an agency says something like "in the best interests of the child" and everybody automatically believes it.

The whole system is screwed up and needs a change. But, will law makers support change.....no way, cuz it's too much of a money making racket for the states.

i disagree. we pay child support for my stepson, and i know that money goes to thinsg he needs. however, we have a decent relationship with the custodial parent and she has 3 other kids, so she makes an effort to show us what the moeny was spent on.

of course, not all custodial parents use the $ how they should. but that doesnt emant that it shouldnt be paid. two wrongs do not make a right.

then again, we're in MD, and DSS keeps great track of the $ paid, etc.

You are very fortunate, Burn. It is wonderful to see more couples thinking of their children first. And for that I am grateful. But ask your husband how he would have felt if the mother would have moved to and not allowed him to have access to see his children, but still responsible for paying the money. Horrible.


I believe if a spouse can lose a driver's license and go to jail if they get behind (even when ill and out of a job), then they have every right to know where the money is being spent. That's good business sense. And this is a business unfortunately.

I believe if more couples knew that the law supported the child's right to equal access to parents that couples would be forced to make the divorce more reasonable. There are changes in the making now where that is happening. But, ANY change has to be fought for since there is tooooo much money to be made by each state with every dollar collected.

IMO, if a spouse wants to move away and take the kids, that person should have the responsibility of paying. The other parent will have to pay for transportation to even get to see the children. I think it's horrible that a parent with full custody can take the kids out of state to "start a new life" as if the other parent means nothing to the children. Adults can be very vindictive and think of themselves before really understanding how it affects their children.

Most children don't need a dollar as much as they need the love and prescense of mom and dad in their lives.

that did happen. a long time ago, before i was in the picture. i dont think my husband saw his kid for 3 years, until the court MADE her restore visitation. she made some fasle claims to dss that unfortunately took too long to disprove. of course they were proven false, but all that precious time was lost in the red tape.

i know that happens to MANY non custodial parents these days, and that's terribly sad, but i would hope they'd continue to pay child support in good faith, and one day be able to tell the kid "even when i couldn't see you, i did what was asked of me to help you."

Actually, this is the case over most of the country. Men continue, in good faith, to pay even when screwed because they love their kids and want to take care of them. I won't argue that point. The law is the law and must be obeyed.

But, when the system is broke it should be given priority and updated, if the interest of the children is truly what this is about.

Like Siriun said, it was originally started during a time when women were stay at home moms and unable to support themselves when divorced.

Man, I'm in a crappy mood right now and I could go on and on, but better not! I know what you're saying, Burn, and can't disagree.

More parents need to take responsibility, whether single, married or divorced. It's just made to be all about money that will make a difference in a child's life.

TRUE STORY:

When my mother finally dumped my womanizing, wife-beating father he was order to pay child support.

He didn't.

Why?

'Cause the Army kept moving him around from Germany to US to Germany to US just to make sure he couldn't be served with the papers.

When they finally caught up to and served him, his Commanding Officer ORDERED a different man to take the paternity test in my father's name to skew the results.

Sum Bitches got caught, the CO and Sperm Doner - I have ALL the paperwork, including confession, admission of guilt, etc.

Ah yes, the good 'ol days. Times have changed, thank goodness.

Sperm doner never paid a dime.

Mom worked her hiney off to make sure I didn't NEED his money.

My mother is my hero.

Too bad I needed a hero.

Sorry you feel that way, Checkingin. I moved a substantial distance from where I lived with my ex and had my kids. My ex had been ordered to pay me 50.00 a month for THREE kids and did not help with daycare. The cost of living kept going up. Life got more and more difficult. Finally, I got very sick and could not work anymore. I had no money to stay in the area and afford housing, and while I was sick, especially before I was diagnosed, I was not even able to go to a homeless shelter. So.......when my boyfriend finally decided to come and get me rather than let me live in my car with three kids while having transfusions and iron infusions every month or so, I went ahead and moved. I had trouble finding my ex, in order to inform him, but he finally got notified and fought me; but you know what.......it came out in court that he actually had no place to live, and is having probs of his own. If he wanted to take the kids from me, he would also have to be able to afford daycare, which he cannot right now, and he does not have a support system to help care for them. So.....even if he were not a rotton, lying rat, (subject for another thread!!!) the best interest of the children would still have been served by including them in the move west with me. And if he wants to come and see them.......it has been four years now since he has seen them......he can.

Do I feel the slightest bit guilty for "moving out of state to start a new life"? Absolutely not! I also don't think I should have to pay for any transit, should I send them to see him, unless he comes forward with a truthful financial statement.

I salute all who put children first, I can not walk in someone else's shoes. I know there are good people out there doing good by their kids. Some pay child support & others have no choice and have to move. My brother moved to the state that his former wife and child relocated to, it was an agreeable compromise. Both parents gave up a lot to make it work. Happily, they put the child first. Sometimes it requires creative problem solving.

Some may do it all correctly, following the ideal formula w/ ease. Others struggle & may need guidance, or a law to do the right thing. The road map is different for each family. We all have different circumstances or histories. It is sad when a good parent is barred from seeing a child by the custodial parent, yet they pay child support. Games need to be avoided. Children come first.

When we have children we have to do what is best for them. As long as the child comes first, we all get to the right place. Kids need to be adequately provided for, loved and kept safe from harm.

Agreed, CH.

Wow...........Siriunsun just got about 5 months worth of back child support! Totally freaky!

See...there IS a God...and She loves you!

Seriously, congrats SS, 'bout damn time!