While back in the Arts & Entertainment District, the World Stoop-Sitting Championship kicks off, and a confused out-of-town visitor thinks he's ordering clams when he stops by the "Steamers" booth...

As the confused out of towner looks at the attendent. He notices a long line over at the library thinking what is going on?

Putting his hungry to the side for a moment the lonely out of towner decides to go check out the line at the library. Much to his dismay he discovers that the one and only is signing his new book of "What happens in Hagersbush stay's in Hagersbush" The author is none other then........

Tim Rowland.. noted columnist and funny man for the H-M.

which includes such passionate stories like "the one hundredth story about my pets" and "I'm out of town so here's an old one" and my special favorite "I have more names for my lady in high heels than bud light real heroes ads"...

After getting Tim Rowland's signature in his new released book the out of towner over hears the talk about Historic Funkstown. After all he becomes very bored seeing all the closed up building's downtown so he decides to hit Funkstown taking the advice of a locals telling him to head there and to make sure you go into Funkstown tavern and ask for Mcqee, he'll get you the goods on this town. So off the out of towner goes and.........

Enters the Funkstown Tavern. He ask the bar keep, Where is McGee? Oh he is right over there. The out of towner goes over by McGee and intorduces himself to McGee. McGee with a big grin says, You wouldn`t happen to play golf do you?

Just at that moment a news flash comes on TV25. A Hagerstown man

Is about to be charged with malicious intentions. Lewis Metzner and Penny was over heard in the hall way at city hall making reference to this. Seems as if a man went into the 3 rd. floor john in city hall and used more then his fair share of tissue paper that was not included in this month's budget for usage. Hence this over use has caused concerned and it must now be brought up in the meeting, Lew spoke up very clearly and informed everyone around them saying " Hold up Hold up let's get in front of the camera's to further discuss this, we can not have any closed meetings.

The special report ended and the TV went back to regular programing and Mcqee and the out of towner had a nice chat. Turns out the out of towner is here for a golf tournament.

At Yinglings par three. And then will be playing at the Western Maryland Blues fest under the stage name HAMBONE MUDWATER JOHNSON THE III. Then out of the clear blue guess who walks in to the tavern. That's right it's........

Ms. Kromer and her hubby. They heard they was one hell of a party going on and they had to come find out what was going on outside the city of Hagersbush. When just about the time that everyone was ready to leave...... The out of towner gave free passes to his show here in town for the Blues fest.....

Come on folks let's not let this go down.

Chapter 2.
P.S. Council Members and Mayor hope you realize this is all in fun ok. NO PUNT"S TO ANYONE.


The out of towner takes a long walk through out the downtown area and could not get over the beauty of all the buildings that have been restored. His comment's to his peer's was about the fact that even at 9:PM at night he didn't feel fear, and how the town folk he encountered met him with warm friendly Hello's, mainly right in the square of town. He took numerous pictures to take with him back home to his home town in our sister city in...............

Extra! Extra! Read All About It!

The town Villan strikes again. The Notorious CBMI also known as Dick A. Meister, is on the prowl again. Sources on the street spottied Dick harrassing, and even forcing a local celebrity into retirement. Several blocks away, An angry mob of the local towns folks, led by the one they call Princess, is on the hunt for the evil Dick. On lookers said that they were carrying torches and chanting.....

Down with the Big Dick!!

When the angry mob finally catches a good look at Big Dick, they realize he's a pathetic, wimpy, constipated little creature who...

is so full of $hit that the angry mob decides that a swift kick in the a$$ might relieve his constipation. So the angry Princess takes her size 91/2 size shoe and......

and stops in mid strike. Ah, well, she thinks, as me dear ma would say, she proceeds to "beat him to a pulp".

...Meanwhile, Exxon Mobile is preparing to file Chapter 13 due to the marginal profit they made in 2007 due to overhead expenses and their generous contribution to the consumers... To aide their legal team in order to attempt to keep legal fees to a minimum is the HM Forum's ver own BMIC, who is generously contributing his own wealth to the worthy cause...

Stops to speak with a group of reporters located outside of the Exxon Corporate office. " If people would get a real job" he proceeds to say when all of a sudden, a flock of birds fly over and $hits on his head causing him to end that sentence abruptly. Protesters that had been watching the event from across the street begin to heckle......

... and Jeckle to thank them for sh*tting on B's head, when unnoticed Jeckle slips an exploding cigar into B's...

Pants. Princess says is that an cigar in your pocket or are you just happy to see me. Suddenly the cigar.....

blows up, B's dead, then almost instantly the mob looks for the next poster that they will feel victimized by.

and suddenly Ud spots her, bent over almost causing a traffic accident by.....

...the reaction to seeing Udmas, who unbeknownst to most forum members has managed to make a miraculous recovery from the beheading by B's henchman.

Well I can tell where this is going so Off I am with this thread. It's a darn shame we can't have some fun with out this type of comment's.

WTF, Dude?

Meanwhile, Beethoven has refilled his cask and is looking for some way to revive....

Rowdy, one of the best members ever until he...

deleted post.

Udmas was posting simultaneously so it made no sense. We really need the ability to delete... this is so stupid.

got a ticket to Margaritaville and showed us all, he is sipping marguritas and dancing in the moonlight. Happy and safe, I hope.

...and then you paste a word only to spell it incorrectly later! Wppt!

All members are welcome. You are not alone.

It’s been a very quiet week on the Forum. As members recover from the devastating tornado that twisted through our area early this week and begin to prepare for what is being said will be the first hottest weekend of the summer season our heated topics begin to fade. As our beloved Jelsey returns from her vacation, she finds her mind in a whirl as some others – “To circumcise or not to circumcise?” The heavily and heated debate of abortions has reeled its ugly head again and it appears there will be no middle ground. With the help of Verizon’s big blunder and the new taxi service in town as the get away method of choice, we all anxiously await our dear Patton as he impatiently counts down the days to…

Armageddon

Otherwise know as the Herald Mail's newly desigend website.

Local newspaper reporter: That's right folks, you heard it here first, Armagedon is approaching. These rumors have been confirmed by "The General" himself.
As the reporter is in the middle of her big story, Princess runs up to her, grabs the microphone and sends out a dedication to "The General" " This one is for you GP", she says. Don't Worry Be happy starts playing when..

The tape self destructs in 6 seconds.....

But fear not!!! An airplane flys over the General with a banner that reads: Don't Worry Be Happy. Meanwhile, back at the ranch....

B got banned for....

...sending CommunityHagerstown elicit private messages that I am in desperate need of reading.

but heather can't read them, because she is not on the need to know list So she decides to have another jack and coke then go on a comment posting spree.

starting over..


Twas a beautiful Monday afternoon and all I wanted was WVD's peach cobbler recipe but she wouldn't post it when all of a sudden......

...there was a rattling and shaking noise coming from momof3's laundry room. "What's this all about??" she wondered, as she ran from her computer to see what the problem was. Turns out that mom's newly bought detergent, purchased on sale with a double coupon, wasn't working well with her hard water, and the washing machine was in revolt. "Well!" said mom to herself. That's the last time I stray away from using Tide. I should've known, I've never been a Bold woman."

When she returned upstairs to check on the H/M forums she found that all hell had broken loose while she was washing clothes. It seems one of the posters had.........

called in CSI McGee to get to the bottom of the alleged multiple personalities on the H/M forums and why NASCAR only uses Goodyear tires. As McGee released his bold and unbelievable findings........

....accompanied by his dreaded woo-woo broom, a strange sound emanated from the next room. McGee went to check it out, only to find...

CC in the fetal position in the corner of the room mumbling to himself "why today! make it go away!" As Mcgee closed the door and left CC whimpering in the corner he realized he had to.........

to make a split personality.... oops I mean decision to (A) call someone out or ( bring in Detective Clever to find out who peed in the...................

wheaties of half of the forum members. Just then, Mayor Bob and Kelly arrived on the scene to make sure everyone was driving their own vehicle......

after checking everyones mileage and calling for a study on city car usage they realized there were bigger problems at the H/M. with all the multiple personalities popping up they decided to.........

....send PM's to all these interesting new members, asking for them to all chip in and help put the chain-link fence up around the old electric plant.

With fence in place the Mayor and Council moved on to bigger a better things, like retail development zoning, the progress of the Jonathan Street construction, and....

debating which street downtown would be the next one worthy of sparkly pavement. Alecia thought that...