I would agree with SMan on the same old topics, all the regulars already know each others opinions.

jelsey,
I know someone who decided to, if I may, "quit" the forums because aof the same or almost the same reasons. But...I think it must've cleared up some, because she's back posting again, although she rarely has time to do it.

Oh come on Jels .... everyone knows the word of the week is "vagina". Get with the program!

Personally I been busy doing other things. I don't have time to post of the forum all the time.

If I didn't have a problem with my neighbors, I probably wouldn't be posting today.

Just needed some insight from other people, since I never dealt with weird neighbors before.

Oh, come on B....we were just following your lead from last week with your menstruation shout.

Remember this gem?

I do.

If the topics appear limited, perhaps we all need to put our heads together and formulate some subjects we would like to try, maybe more of a variation. More of a cross section of intellectual, helpful hints, or entertainment. Or perhaps a brave soul can kick it up and open a cool thread. See how it flies. If it doesn't, try another, and another. Make a spark.

Also, maybe we can learn from our past.

Before ganging up on one poster remember that is one less poster that will be active. Case in point, while I was not involved I did sit back and watch the feedback given to someone who held a different opinion. I was remiss, I should of spoken up but I knew what I would hear. So I logged off and went for a bike ride.

The feedback came from posters who always come across educated and informed. They were posters I see as in touch and usually quite measured. But they wanted to take this poster down a notch, and dragged up really old posts that the person had made during more contentious times. We all make mistakes, as this poster had. Not saying the poster was without an issue but I felt it was workable. Just wish we could of handled it differently.

Some tid bits I agreed with but I was not going to rake the person over the coals. For me, it would be the kettle calling the pot black. I felt it could of been handled slightly differently. The posters were smart folks and could of gotten the message across without making the subject feel like leaving. Maybe a different venue, maybe a PM to redirect that poster, or offer a time to explain or add clarity. Again, I did not speak up but I felt outnumbered.

I mean no negatives towards anyone. The end result was of course the poster would leave, decreasing the number of articulate and interesting posters. And here we are. All in the name of giving that poster an education. The poster got the education and left. This was just an example that came to mind when someone asked why posters leave or take a break. I thought it might add to the clarity.

Personally, I am feeling the love, no issues. I know where to post and where I might get a spark. Depending on my mood, I make the choice. For now, I am feeling good. I definitely post less since the nice weather happened. When it is warm I am outside and enjoying life. So, yes, the change in seasons affects my posting.

Again, I have no problem with anyone. Just responding to the question that was asked? Why do posters leave? I think there are multiple reasons. Sometimes it is as simple as the time of year, family or work changes. Other times it is bad feelings, predictability, or boredom. I imagine the reasons vary among such a diverse group.

As someone said, look back and you will see this topic in old threads. Ebbs and flows..............

Please, allow me to apoligize for any hurt feelings you may have experienced due to the above, uncalled for remark.
Geez.

Oh yeah, almost forgot. Thanks for the heads up on that one B.

Actually, I believe that "pussy" is slang for the word "vagina".

Maybe if you got some, you'd stop being such an insufferable ass.

Just a suggestion.

Oh, and by the way, I'm NOT on my period today, I'm ALWAYS this agressive/assertive/bitchy.

Whispers to the wind: I love Jelsey.

She says what I can not even think of to say. But it is usually pretty good.

Well said Girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

::CHEERS:: ::CHEERS:: ...And the crowd goes wild!

Funniest thing I've read on the forums all week!

This post gets my vote for post of the week.

B just brings out the best in everyone...

I've been swamped at work

I seem to only pop in for a few days straight and then take a week or two hiatus. I suspect I won't be around much in the next few weeks either.

[Actually, I believe that "pussy" is slang for the word "vagina".

Maybe if you got some, you'd stop being such an insufferable ass.

Just a suggestion.

Oh, and by the way, I'm NOT on my period today, I'm ALWAYS this agressive/assertive/bitchy.
[/quote]
WTF can she say that

Dang y'all.

I`m gonna put my ear plugs on.

Well said Samyo. I agree 100%

Now if we can only find a bigger peach baskets to fit TM & PP All will be good once again.
You know they both use to ware a size 6&7/8 hat. But that was before they came on here.

Peach basket?

I think it's a BIG, ROUND basket, bigger than a 'peck', but not quite as big as a 'bushel'.

For those with a grande tete! I think.

I see what you mean CH, poor B always getting picked on.

Laughing a lot on that one. Great post, very witty. Nope, not the one I had in mind.

It's me!!!! That's who they're picking on UD....

Nope not you Dodge Man

Guess again

Moderating can be a tough balancing act and I bet everyone on here thinks that they can do a better job, but you can never please everyone all the time. At any given time a group of members are disgruntled. It can get to be a miserable job when everyone is tugging you back and forth and each member holds their forum happiness over your head and most people feel like the general atmosphere of the forum is attributed to the mods. Rarely do members ever take any personal responsibility in making the forum what it is. It's all me me me, you're on my case all the time, you favor them, you're unfair, you're picking at me, you're trying to run me away, you're trying to bully me and I'll not stand for any of this! It's as if they think a mod is waging a personal war against them. The mods aren't trying to swallow your soul, they're trying to keep a forum from spiraling out of control.

At first we tried modding ourselves. It was fun but not productive. So then there were a few mods who rarely ever messed with anything...ever. People complained about the lack of moderation. So we still tried to stay out of everything mostly, but put a fire out, here and there. Not good enough. Everyone complained. We stepped it up and decided to identify where the big fires were and just put them out and leave all else alone. Not good. People complained that favoritism was in play and only certain people and certain subjects were being modded. We tried different things. We tried just talking to the heavy fire starters and concentrating on them. More complaints about favoritism. Then some mods changed and more guidelines were added in effort to head off fires before they started. Then complaints about too much moderation before it was needed. "We're just arguing, no big. We've done it for years. We're adults, we can sling mud at each other." You can't have it every way.

A moderator just can't win. I'm only speaking from my experience doing it, obviously. All in one day I would be told I was too nice and too mean. I was told constantly that I favored B and Dragon. These two butted heads ALL the time and some people said I was wrong for favoring B and some said I was wrong for favoring Dragon. How could I favor them both at the same time? It was like the land of opposites. I'm mean and I'm nice. I'm too serious and I'm too lighthearted. I'm too strict and not enough.

What about the members? I don't really know what's going on these days with y'all, but when I modded, everyone got so offended and was just enraged if I corrected them. How DARE you move my thread! Geesh. You'd think I just called their mama a skank crack ho. Check YOURSELF sometimes if it hurts that much to be corrected by a mod. The majority of the crap I dealt with - people knew they were wrong. What's the big deal about being corrected by a mod?

Again, this is just the way I saw things back in the day. Not very many members wanted to give me the satisfaction of knowing the forum was a good place, but let the forum mood get all dark and stormy, then they had no problem blaming mods.

My response is out-dated yeah, but I bet some of the mods know what I mean.


Dang, that was long. Sorry.

:wipes a tear from his eye:

That was beautiful.

Ah, the good old days.

Thanks Heather, very well said.

Wow, we all, myself included, love rehashing and recirculate on this topic. I do appreciate Heather's take. I also enjoy the humor and insghtful takes from others.

Joining in I must say, deep down I am sure we all know the mods, old and new, have little impact on why a poster would leave. Life happens, people get bored, bosses put up firewalls, posters violate a serious term of agreement, things change, and some step away from the computer. It happens.....................................

Sorry, I just do not see a conspiracy. I do appreciate the less toxic format which modding can provide. I take it all with a grain of salt. We have heavy moddong and light modding, it has always been fluid.

Back in the day one poster mod jumped on me for the shoutbox, I had made 3 or 4 statements in a day. And the regulars were parked there. It happens. Sometimes we start with the low lying fruit and move up. So, it is not new, our questions or attitudes. Usually a kind heads up, quite chat, or PM exchange gets us on the same page and we can leave our bad feelings behind.

There was a time where serious slurs developed, involving every ethnic group, it even bled out to jabs at various character traits, and then silly but distracting slams. Just got tedious with so much off topic negativity. topics were derailed and it got boring.

It usually happened when a poor soul would go off the deep end, or be fighting their demons, or perhaps got their meds changed. Sometimes a lonely soul needs a helpful nudge. I am talking about the truly troubled individuals, who are thankfully rare, but need more guidance. That is when we call the mods. We have been there and needed them in the past. So mods are here to stay, we all need to find a right fit and squeeze in. Work out how we interact, there will be bumps and smooth palces for all. There are just too many variables nowadays, to not have a mod team.

Thank you, just recirculating old points in the herald forum tradition. We have said this all before, I think 3 years ago.

I remain of the opinion that moderators do best to stay out of the way. Bad threads and dead-end arguments will die a natural death if allowed to. You actually do much more harm than good by stepping in and cutting off people. The anger and resentment generated just comes out in other places.

To those who don't like heated arguments, there's nothing here forcing you to participate in them. If you don't like what somebody is saying in a particular thread, you can either attempt a rebuttal or discuss something else in another thread. There are (or used to be) enough threads on enough different topics for everyone to choose from.

The real problems come when people get off track and need a gentle reminder. Repetitive posting off-topic, name-calling and attacking the source of an opinion you don't like are a waste of time, and sometimes a gentle reminder to get back to reasoned arguments is in order. But banning people or topics, moving threads, and editing all but the most offensive four-letter words is heavy-handed, infantile abuse of power to which skilled moderators should practically never have to resort.

As they say, "you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar". Gentle prodding gets far better results than a heavy-handed disciplinary approach.

I enjoy this forum alot. And I think, sometimes, the drama gives it a little kick. Too much drama and too much personal attacking gets hard to take.

But, as far as Heather's comments go..... reading that really surprised me. I think I've only reported someone One time to the mods. That was when flipper was posting a member's personal name and info all over the boards. So, I was surprised to read how much people complain to the mods.

Why not just PM people and try to work it out before complaining to the mods?? And if you have a personal beef against the mods, why not PM them and try to work it out that way instead of bringing the fight to every thread???

I've been posting for years now and enjoy everyone. I've butted heads with some and tried my best to make amends since I really don't want to hurt anyone. I am very strong willed and can "fight to the death" if I wanted. But, I try to catch myself and realize that it's just my opinion. You don't ever have to feel like you have to walk on egg shells around me. I can fight very well. Just try not to. I know I get carried away in standing up for my beliefs..... but many here do as well. So, I fight back. I will only do it with people I think can take it.....and then bounce back fine....ie: SMan and Phish!! hee hee. They confront me and fight me and that is fine with me. I am sensitive about people being made fun of, but I'll settle down after awhile. No need to be worried about posting something on my account. Now, if you're afraid I'll say something too harsh to you and hurt you, then let me know. I'll stop.

There is a forum personality site that Dragon once sent me. Really funny. I'll have to see if I can find it. We all tend to have a "role" on here.

Once you get to know everyone, you can expect the way they will reply. Jelsey is always gonna give it to you straight with a good one-liner. But, she doesn't hold grudges.

B's gonna go off, at some point, and say something nasty then regroup and get himself together.

I'm always gonna defend the underdog or the religious or the down and out person.

CH is the peacemaker and calm us down.

Heather is our cutie pie (with a wicked twist!) and never quite predictable.

SMan is, IMO, probably the most sensible and logic minded person on here. He considers what you say and is a good listener. Provides alot of thought provoking ideas. (I hear he is really cute too! hee hee)

McGee is another cutie and nice guy. Don't leave. We need you around here. Plus who else will back up Patton?? lol

Patton is our antagonist. Very dependable that way. I can't figure him out though. He's a real nice guy behind the scenes, though.

Udmas just seems like a jolly good guy who really gets a chuckle out of this place!

Coma is so smart. And cynical as well. He is the hub of this thread though. He knows what's up in Hagerstown and has alot of insight into the area.

Samy0, I miss you!! Where have you been??

Idiot is our debonair politician. I can see him in a white suit with a white cowboy hat and big cigar, sometimes. And his mint julep, of course.

And then there's dragon. Complex person and friend. She will tell you like it is and then some! Spirited, sensitive and caring. But, likes to be a "bad girl" at heart!! (she's not really, but don't tell her I said that! ha!)

Anyway, better stop. Getting too long. There are more people, of course. But I could do this all day. Hope this helps the noobies a bit. We are all different and interesting but not at all dangerous!

Have fun.

Now, you take that back.

I am not a nice guy.

Ha ha! The secret's out!!

I was a Mod too and can verify much of what Heather said.

It's like fightin' people -- don't throw the first punch! If everyone goes by that we'll be okay and the ModSquad -- who/whatever it is, will stay away.

When everyone's a mod, nobody is. It's like I said, like putting the inmates in charge at the local insane asylum. Webbie was the only one who remained enough of an outsider to most conversations that her actions could be respected. And she almost never acted.

Aww shucks, thanks for the props but I'm not the hub of anything. I just pass on what I can as far as local happenings go. I am not as connected as some, but a lot does pass through me from various people.

And yes, I am cynical but I'm not overly serious. I don't have a road map plotting out my future. I live day by day, laugh and have fun. The day I die, I want to remember my life as being about fun.

Dirty Whore!

Just kidding Coma

That's ignert!

I'm outta here for a while, gotta take a break.

A particular poster is just feeding my anger.

I don't lunch with people whom I cannot stomach.

I don't have a drink with people whom I cannot stomach.

I don't have meaningful, productive conversations with people whom I cannot stomach.

I've enjoyed 99.9% of the conversations in which I have taken part, and for that, I thank 99.9% of you.

I've discovered today that the part of me which I hate the most can be brought to the surface by a particular poster and that's not healthy for me physically, emotionally or spiritually.

My PM account will be active (unless the Mods layeth the smackdown on me), so if you'd like to send me a "hello" or invite me out for a nice fried-chicken & lemonade picnic, feel free to contact me.

Hopefully I'll work out my own issues and be back to annoy and delight another day.

Bye gang.

Gimme a break. Talk about drama. Another way to try to influence opinion against me.

When you grow up, come back and join the rest of us.

I admit that I haven't read all the pages on this topic... too lazy, I guess.

But I think I get the general tone of what's going on here. And I have to say that this is the reason I stay in the movie and restaurant sections. I get information without any drama.

I think you do all the influencing yourself, B.

I appreciate the compliment, but I don't think I am nearly as effective as you say. Far too many people react emotionally rather than using their intellect to come up with rationed counterpoint.

If it's only that one poster aggravating you, Jelsey, just use the ignore feature on them. Don't leave everyone just because of one member.

Hmmm... she has a point. It has been very helpful to me. And it would help you resist the temptation to stalk and personally assault me all of the time.

When is the next meet and greet?

This extended weekend, having said that, it's a party like all get out!