I found this on the front page of AOL and thought with all the WCPS issues going on this might be interesting to hear what you all think about this. As for me our daughter we made walk down the graduation line 8 month's pregnant and then 2 weeks after that she was made to move out and become her own adult. We paid her way to that point and believe me it was a difficult road with her. Thank God our son is the saint. We purposely didn't have any other children for fear they'd be like her. She is 6 year's older then our son.




Man Jailed for Daughter's School Woes
By LISA CORNWELL,AP
Posted: 2008-05-14 15:13:55
Filed Under: Law News, Nation News
CINCINNATI (May 13) - A man ordered by a judge to make sure his daughter hit the books has found himself in jail because she failed to earn a high school equivalency diploma.





Brian Gegner, of Fairfield, was sentenced last week to 180 days in jail for contributing to the unruliness or delinquency of a minor.

He was ordered months ago to make sure his 18-year-old daughter Brittany Gegner, who has a history of truancy, received her GED - something that hasn't happened yet.

Brittany Gegner, who said Monday that she plans to take a required GED test this month, said her father shouldn't be blamed for her failure because she has been living with her mother.

"It was my wrongdoing, not his," said Brittany Gegner, whose fiance and 18-month-old daughter also live at her mother's home in nearby Hamilton. "He shouldn't have to go to jail for something I did."

Her mother agrees.


What's Your Take?

"Brittany is almost 19 years old now and I think it's unfair to put her father in jail," said Shana Roach. "She's an adult now, and it's not right to rip an innocent man from his home."

Butler County Juvenile Court administrator Rob Clevenger Jr. said Monday that the court still has jurisdiction in the case because Brittany Gegner was a juvenile when the truancy problems began and when the charge against Brian Gegner was filed in 2007.

A hearing on a motion filed by Brian Gegner's attorney to reconsider the sentence is scheduled for Friday. Messages seeking comment were not returned Monday at the offices of defense attorney Tamara Sack and the Butler County prosecutor.

Brian Gegner's wife, Stephanie Gegner, said she and her husband are afraid he will lose his job if he remains in jail. She said they tried to keep his daughter in school.

"You'd take her to school and she'd go out the other door," Stephanie Gegner said.

The headline sounds outrageous, but the line I quoted explains everything. All this stuff happened when the girl was still a juvy, so they can still put the smack on dad for not following the terms of the court's previous ruling.

As the father of a rebellious teen, I have to say it doesn't really matter what her age. The Judge is out of line period. Sometimes it's all you can do to keep your kid from getting pregnant, dropping off into the abyss of drug addiction, or getting into all sorts of other crimes. Punishing the father who had no ability to control matters is just plain wrong. And the last time I checked, failing to get your GED wasn't a crime, except in this insane Judge's warped world.

I came very close myself to filing a CINS petitiion to ask that my daughter be taken away because at one point I had almost no control over her. To think that the very system that I would turn to for help would instead punish me for not having some magical ability to control my teenager is just outrageous. If the father had been giving the kid drugs or alcohol or in some other way truly contributing actively to her delinquency, then I could see it. But this dad seemingly did nothing wrong, and as far as I can tell neither did the kid. There's no law that says she had to attend school after she passed the age of mandatory attendance, and there's no law saying you MUST get a High School diploma or GED by any particular age (or I suspect that a fair number of Wash Co's citizens would be in trouble).

Sure we might all wish that every kid would get their HS diploma the easy way, but the reality is that some kids are operating on a different leel and it's all we can do to keep them out of jail.

If this is all there is to the story, then I totally agree with you, B. If the father didn't abuse her or neglect and it was just plain teen rebellion, then I feel sorry for that dad.

I could never understand why they prosecute the parent when it's the teen who is the problem. Just seems like it's more of allowing them to Not take responsibility for their own actions. Even though they're still underage, it's nearly impossible to make a rebellious teen do something they don't want to do. Make them spend some time in jail. That would keep them out of trouble and hopefully teach them a lesson.

I guess I'm a lucky parent, I just don't understand the "not being able to control your teen child" statement.

Kid won't stay in class/school? Take a day/week/month off of work and SIT BESIDE your kid in class, I would assume the school would allow that (please, no ASS U ME comments, they're old). What's more important, taking a week at the beach or making sure Junior has his fanny in school? Yes...I know, not everyone has "vacation" time to blow. Just a suggestion.

Kid won't come home by curfew? Don't let them out in the first place, locks are easy to install on bedroom doors and windows.

Kid talkin' smack? Hide all their clothes, amazing how compliant a naked teen-ager can be.

Little Susie dressing like a hoochie-mama? Burn them, then take her shopping at Goodwill for "new" clothes.

I realize this is not a cure-all, just a couple of suggestions. Like I said, my kids (16, 16 & 22) give me little to no trouble, guess I'm a VERY lucky parent (or...maybe...I'm a really GOOD parent).

I'm betting it's a little of both. With a whole bunch of God's Grace thrown in for good measure.

I actually know a mother who did just that - went to school for a week & sat beside her son in class, every class, every day. Wonderful idea! And, I agree with you totally - you are a parent. You are responsible for that child until he or she reaches the age of 18. They live in your home, they follow your rules. Take away the computer, take away the phone, the car, the clothes - whatever need be. No, it probably is not possible for most parents to be with their child 24/7 - but sometimes extreme situations calls for extreme measures. You do what you can until they child reaches the age of 18 and then you hope for the best. After that, are you to be held accountable for your child's actions? No.

Well,

You're talking about pretty normal teens, Jels. But, I work with teens who are troubled and have seen the pain that the parents have faced and they are exhausted.

They really need help since they have been dealing with their child all their lives. Parents get into ruts and the teen knows how to push their buttons to the breaking point. It's a sad thing to see for the whole family. To put the parent in jail, IMO, won't solve a thing. These parents need professional help and so do the teens. When a troubled teen is hell bent on NOT doing what authority tells them to do, it takes the "life" out of a parent and professionals need to set in to help. If that doesn't work, then put the kid in an alternative school or something more drastic.

I just have see too many parents give up from emotional exhasution. This father may lose his job. I just can't see how that is helping this family.


P. S. Those are great ideas, by the way. I wish I had thought of the naked kid idea a long time ago. hee hee

I'm gonna consider myself blessed to have "normal" teens. Thanks for the reminder that not all of us are so blessed.

Right now, my youngest will be 18 soon. He's been a great kid. Had some problems, but nothing out of the ordinary.

My other two had to grow up with a mom who was going deaf and very depressed. They had alot of problems in schools, at times, but, for some reason, truancy was never a problem They always got up and out the door. Just didn't do a whole lot when they got there. So, I've seen share of the heartache as well.

I think, at the height of the hardest time with number one son, if someone would have said that we're gonna put you in jail since your son is so unco-operative, I would have said, "take me away!!" Really!

For some reason, they always seem to want to take the personal responsibility away from the person creating the problem. All you can do is your very best. One of the things our schools do right here is notify the parents if your kid is not in school that day. While the school has made mistakes a couple of times and called when they were there, it gives me an extra tool to work with as a parent. I think making the girl take responsiblity will do more to ensure she follows a more productive path in life than punishing her father. She needs to take personal responsibility for her own actions.

Hey.................... .............That's what we do with one of our kids who won't do her homework. If she is not current with all of her work, I pick out her clothes. She only gets to decide what she wears if all of her schoolwork is done and turned in. She's really pushed the envelope this year, though. Her very Pagan stepfather is actually urging me to send her to a much more strict Catholic school next year.

OH MY, now what's normal to some may not be normal to other folks.

As parents I would like to think that most do the best they can.

You can take the child to school but that not saying they won't walk out the back door.
Then what is a parents to do, hold the child hands until the end of the day?

Yep.

Exactly.

IMHO anyhow, but I can afford to lose work-time to hold my kids' hand and ensure they are in school and not roaming the neighborhood, looking for something to get into.

Not everyone can.

If students skip school a lot, the parents are the ones that get in trouble. That was the case here, and to fix the problem the judge ordered the father to help his daughter a GED. He failed to do that, so he gets in trouble. I don't think the courts care about his excuses, he was ordered to do something, he needed to do it. I realize there are other things going on, but society usually doesn't want to hear about it. If you don't pay some bill or other, no matter what the excuse, you get in trouble. It's the same way here. I don't agree that that is the way the courts and life works, but that is the way it is. I think the judge followed the law, so I think it is fine. Parents are in charge of their students attending school since their children are minors, regardless of if the child is troubled or not, that's the way it is I realize that is hard at times, and I do feel bad for the father, I wish it didn't work that way.

I agree with "B"
and Jelsey, I love your tactics. I will have to try them out. My kids are pretty good. My almost 17 year old would die if I did that to her. I have had issues with her with homework, classwork and etc. I would not allow her to get her learners permit until she straigtened out.
I once opted to go sit in or just observe this class and the teacher told me he did not think it was a good idea. It would embarrass her. And the problem is???????

I remember several years back a Mom of a rebelious teen was filmed because she was going through the same thing as this Father is. She drove her daughter to school and would pick her up afterwards. She watched her daughter walk into school and then she would leave only to find out that her daughter was going out the back door. She received numerous phone calls and had to go to court over the missed days of school. No one could give her a solution so she handcuffed herself to the kid and attended all classes/lunch and bathroom trips.

Bottom line....IT worked and the girl graduated. BUT not everyone can do this AND not to mention School's will not allow it.. what do you do.

It seems like parents aren't allowed to do anything to police their children. When parents try to take action the teacher doesn't like it, the principal doesn't agree with it, or the child gets defiant and threatens to call child services. It does seem like a catch 22 and it's unfortunate. I guess I will remain the only one that agrees with the judge, and that's ok

Inasmuch as the law is the law and must be followed, I agree with you and the judge. But..........I really wish that jail could be reserved for violent offenders and gross scofflaws, and that people who were doing their best to follow the law and merely failed for some reason, out of their own control; and that perpetrators of non-violent crimes, were sanctioned in some other way.

After reading this thread, I am really beginning to think that Hubby may be right about sending daughter #2 to Catholic school next year (yes, fellow Pagans, it's true......drum me out of the Little Pagans Club if you wish....I simply must work with the resources I have, rather than pine for the resources I don't have) before her habit of not doing any schoolwork becomes so established that I end up in a similar position with her.

Not sure where you live but it's obviously not the same place I do. And when I complained to the Principal he had the nerve to tell me flat out that it's not their responsibility to inform me. This was WCPS and as far as I know he is dead wrong about their policy, but what could I do? I don't now how many times I gave them my cell phone and work numbers and said do NOT call my home number because I work all day and my daughter will just erase any messages you leave at the house. Yet I almost never got any calls.

If I wasn't running what used to be a 4-man department all by myself for most of the time this was going on, MAYBE I could have thought about staying home and trying to deal with it. But endangering my job was not an acceptable proposition.

I never got any phones calls about absenses either. What I did get was a note, after the fact, saying that my son was getting and "illegal" absence since he didn't hand in a note from parents.

Get 10 of those and go directly to jail! sorta. But, what was really happening is that my adhd son was forgetting to hand in his note. They give them three days to hand it in and then the illegal absence. This is when I found out and it was too late.

So, the school suggested that I mail in the absence note to make sure it got there. Ok, did that. But, it was still scary thinking, 'what else will he forget when he walks through the front door and I'll never know about till it's too late." sigh.

Smithsburg Middle does ALL the time. Smithsburg High.....not so much. But then again, my daughter has not been absent alot and I do check attendance on report cards.

Waynesboro Area School District sends both telephonic and email notifications when a child is absent.

You know that stupid saying "it takes a villiage to raise a child"? well...K-Mart in Waynesboro is taking it to the extreme and will snag any kid they find in their store without a parent, during school hours, and call the school to let them know that the kid is hanging-out in their place of business.

While I support community involvement, I feel this is going too far.

Couldn't the kid just lie to the Kmart employees and give them a false name/school? I don't see how Kmart can legally detain a child for being in their store, as long as the child did not steal anything.

hanging out at Kmart? really?

I went to school in Mont County and we had Truant Officers. If a business was having a problem with underage kids soliciting their business you called them and they escorted that kid/s back to school. So I can relate to this. The Truant Officers usually drove around to see for themselves.

Sounds like the truant officer might have given you a ride before

your sooooo funny.....NOT

Delinquent!

Stay on Topic.............

Door and window locks? false imprisonment

Naked teenager? Sexual abuse

You know that is what the authorities would say. I don't agree but that is what would happen.

I feel sorry for that poor guy he was in a no win situation. He goes to jail for not keeping his kid in school and yet if he would have smacked her on the backside he would have went to jail for abuse.

The I look around the more I realize our country is scewed up. Until parent can start correcting their kids as they should without fear the schools and courts have no business griping or complaining.

You're not the only one, I agree with the judge. I think the father should have done a better job at getting his child to school.

I guess I was lucky, my daughter liked school.

South High calls home when a student isn't in school, right after first period, so if you are even a little late, TROUBLE!

What a bad experience you are having BMIC...

Oh dear lord, let's not infringe upon the "rights" of a child.

meh, it is sickening how liberal some people can be. This is not the f'ing 60's free love is gone. You gonna burn your bra next?

Republicans throw the word liberal around like its a curse word...

Those filthy stinking tree hugging liberals!!!!! RUINING SOCIETY!!!!

I don't hear liberals saying those horrible conservatives! Polluting our kids minds or whatever.

Liberal is a bad word and the reason you don't hear liberals saying those horrible conservatives must be because you don't listen to liberals talk much.

No, I try not to listen to liberals if I can help it...

Almost anyone can have children. The problem is that it is the one thing for which no one is required a license or proof that they know what to do with the child once it is born. What I do not understand is why so many people have children who do not want the responsibility of raising them properly!

Amen Chief.

Simple solutions.

Female - Keep your legs closed.

Male - Keep it in your pants.

Enough Said!!! WORD!

Birth control pills?

Abstinence (sp)

Condom?

Condoms are like 70% effective, birth control pills 99.9%. Stupid conservatives.

Abstinence = Conservative

Abstinence is 100% effective, except in the case of the Virgin Mary.

Because when the parent's try to raise them the right way Chief, Neighbor's, and plain down right out rebellious kids such as our daughter, turns in lies out the yin yang about being abused, and yes ours even tried the false imprisonment issue with us over being grounded for a month at the age of 13 and finding her with married men. Oh the 1 married guy got sent to jail, we'll leave that there ok, yes we had it done. But I feel this judge was in the total wrong!!! Kids' such as one like her and our daughter, will do what ever they want to do and as a parent no matter what you do to try and stop it you become the victim. These type of kids have something seriously wrong with their brains and no one including Dr's. like we had ours too can change a darn thing. It boils down to a Tuff Love issue and such as we've done, You as the parent can either allow it to kill you, destroy your marriage, or simply let them go and forget you have them. Refuse to allow them to be in or around your home or you life. Sad fact and it's Tuff to do but in the long run you take it minute by minute at first then day by day then week by week ect..... Then all of a sudden the pain of releasing your child becomes a wide eye opening thing, as the parent you see that your own life has become so much easier and a massive amount of less stress and you see your own health improving.

Patton
You know how much I hate that fraise..... WORD!!!!!!!!!! LOL
But I agree with you. But getting it to happen is another issue. I mean look at us we did it. Well I admit I did.

How many children have you raised to adulthood and did any of them really cause you any grief?

Your response sounds like that of the typical tirade of the childless "professional educator" who sits back and judges what he does not understand. Child rearing is not as easy as you claim, and willful children are not created by lazy parenting.

I could be wrong, but you sound like someone who doesn't really have a clue. I've heard similar nonsense most often from those who fit that description.

Patton, how un-PC. Don't you know that "just say no" only works when it comes to drugs and alcohol? We're not allowed to rely on that advice when it comes to sex.

/sarcasm

This is a topic I am really familiar with.

The idea is that even when you are physically & emotionally spent, you are still the parent.

DD came home and pierced her ears --she wanted a 2nd hole in each one & I had already said NO!..you can do what you want when I no longer pay your bills, but in my home, nope! When you are 25 you will regret it...

So, when I found the holes--yes, I look at my kids closely often---I had her remove the studs, took her ipod, cell phone, computer privledges and grounded her for 2 weeks..so she could read, be in the living room with us watching our tv shows, or she could clean house...

At the end of the first week, she calmed down. Especially after I informed her I could pick her clothes out if she tried this again..and I like her in bright, happy preppy clothing--not the black tee shirts she prefers to wear!

Parenting is tiring, but I'd rather parent my kids than have the state do it.

And yes, South HS calls if DD is not in school..a few years ago they called 2x saying my DS was not in class-and he was there, but the teacher did not mark him down & they yanked him out of the cafeteria & screamed at him! He called me from the Asst. Principal's office & I went to the school and spoke to his first period teacher--who said, yes, he was here==he turned in his homework...and the AP backed off..but my son was holding his own--the AP said he would not admit he was not at school--I told the AP of course not--he does not want to lie..

Simple & PERFECT solution!

Word??? Comin' for you??? Now THAT made me laugh!!!

I didn't realize you were so "hip", General!

Agreed.........parenting is hard and one cannot control the decisions and actions of a rebellious child. But Cheif's arguement is still valid........many people out there want to bring children into this world, but don't really want to bring them up in this world.

I'm not as old and crusty as my name might make it seem.