Do you homeschool your children? Why/why not?

Are you interested in homeschooling? Ask questions here.

Were you a homeschooled student?

I would love to homeschool my daughter, but paying the mortgage comes first. Gotta have a home in order to home school! I've found that the Home School Connection on Longmeadow Rd. (by Tops Buffet) is an excellent resource, even for enrichment for kids in public school. The owner had a Q and A seminar a few times last summer. A friend who began homeschooling her 3rd grader went, and she was hooked! She is very happy with the flexibility of homeschooling.

I would imagine you would have to have the patience of Mother Teresa.I enjoy little ones but i couldn't see teaching them at home.I think it would be a good thing for a kid with a learning problem.They would get the individual attention that they need.

I would hate to be homeschooled if I was a kid because you get no social interaction throughout the day with your friends.

I have taught kids who are home schooled during the summer when they have to attend state mandated classes. In every case I can remember the kid was introverted, shy, some afraid to interact with other students, and did not participate in class discussions. I am sure that this does not apply to every home schooled child but these are my observations.

I'd just be totally bored, your parents would know everything you do in school (not that mine didn't ), and you would miss out on high school things like playing sports and the prom. I may be wrong here, but aren't kids homeschooled for a religious reason anyway?

Not every family has a religous based reason but alot do. The interesting thing is when they are homeschooled through grade school and then try to adjust to a public high school. Scary for the kid. I really don't understand what these parents are thinking of. As Mountaineer points out the kid cannot participate in athletics or have a chance to develop any social skills.

I thought I read in a woman's magazine that some of the parents schedule "play" dates for the kids with other home schoolers.They also have their soccer teams and baseball teams but I don't think those are school based.

http://www.homeeducator.com/FamilyTimes/ar...0-1article1.htm

http://www.nhen.org/newhser/default.asp?id=229

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/Default.aspx?id=3313359&p1=0

http://www.nhen.org/newhser/default.asp?id=292

http://www.nhen.org/newhser/default.asp?id=293

http://www.worldnetdaily.com/news/archives.asp?AUTHOR_ID=190

http://www.ascribe.org/cgi-bin/spew4th.pl?...29&time=1\



There are ups and downs to homeschooling. It is NOT for everyone, but for many of us it does work. Unless you are thoroughly educated on homeschooling and the huge level of work/commitment involved, please be careful making statements based on heresay that you cannot defend with facts. As with any student in any setting you will find some that do not do well, but for homeschoolers the vast majority do better academically than their counterparts in public or private schools (this is a documented FACT) and socialization is not an issue for the majority of us. In America, we are fortunate to have the RIGHT to do what WE feel is best for OUR children. To each his own!

Why are homeschooling parents so belligerent and obnoxious? Every homeschooling parent I've ever met has a huge chip on their shoulder and becomes very defensive when you question their motives. And they forever cite websites supporting their position; again, a defensive posture.

I think HS is very selfish. Selfish of the parent that HS's. Yes, most HS is based on religious beliefs. And, I have to agree with others here, that HS children are introverted and lack necessary social skills to interact with their peers.

While they may gain a better education, that education will be skewed against the rest of their peers. I think few HS parents are capable of providing a well-rounded education.

JMHO.

I would just hate for my kids to miss the experience of school in general, like sports and clubs and just hanging out with friends. Would someone tell me, however, is it hard for a homeschooler to get into college like WVU or UMD if their parents don't have a teaching degree.

Gee,I didn't know that I couldn't post here P-H-M with just my OPINION! SO SORRY!
Good grief.
Hopefully HS kids aren't learning that sort of attitude there at home.

Adding to my reply above:

If you Google search "Homeschooling" you'll pretty much come up with similiar links mentioned by P-H-M above. Lots of support groups, legal support, etc.

But Google "Homeschooling Disadvantages" and you'll pretty much find a lot of information on why homeschooling is such a bad idea.

While just about 99.999% of all parents know what is best for their children, the same 99.999% of parents have never taken a child psychology course, a sociology course or any educational psychology courses.

Sure, there are plenty of support groups and organizations out there for homeschooling and HS parents generally take advantage of these groups -- at least for the short term. And a lot of HS parents generally spend more time on instruction with their children than the children would get in a structured school environment.

I just don't see where children would get all the experiences they would obtain in a public/private school that they would get at home.

And, I further maintain, IN MY OPINION, that most HS parents have had some sort of abnormal social difficulty with the public school system; which is why they opt to remove their children from the public school. Kind of like "I'll show them who's the boss."

Well, the few homeschoolers that I did know were all taught by their parents because their parents wanted them to get a Christian education, but couldn't afford private school. My thought always was, though, if I take my kids to Sunday school wouldn't they be getting a Christian education? Glad I don't have kids!

Many parents take their kids out because they are frustrated with the public system. The schools can't get anywhere because the disruptive kids are just rotten and there is no way to deal with them. So the HS parents feel it is better to remove their kids from that environment. On top of that, I could cover twice the amount of work in half the time because of the focused attention. Then, throw in the flexibility of actually going to some places instead of reading about them! (yes, these were called field trips in our day, but they are becoming few and far between these days due to lack of $$) And, I could run 10 science experiments to prove a hypothesis because I have the time, where public school has to hurry on to the next thing, whether the kids get it or not.
In an area this size, there are loads of social groups, so there is no reason to be an introvert unless you simply want to be. When my daughter was in morning K, she took afternoon ice skating lessons. Most of the kids in there were home schooled. They were sweet and funny, not at all introverted from what I could see. Yes, as a parent you do have to make extra effort to arrange activities and lessons that promote socialization and exposure to areas in which you may not have any expertise (music, art, etc.). I believe Grace Academy allows homeschoolers to participate in their athletic teams, so the group opportunities do exist.
Personally, I am all for homeschooling, but it must fit the needs of the child. One who is inquisitive and bored by the classroom pace, or a special needs child would be ideal candidates. If a child is headstrong and unruly with parents, then the classroom might work better. I know a family who homeschools, and they let their kids make the decision about homeschooling. The oldest decided to go back to public school as a sophomore and loves it. The youngest wants nothing to do with the public system, but that may change later if she desires more peer relationships.

-Is my child too young or too old to homeschool?
-I don't know how to teach!
-We have a special situation in our household.
-How can we provide for our gifted child?
-Will my child miss out?
For answers to these questions and more - read: http://www.gomilpitas.com/homeschooling/di...ry/Concerns.htm.

Bullies, drinking, drugs, sex ed, crowd control, cliques, wanting to keep up with the latest trends, prejudice, ridicule, and a whole lot more are learned at school institutions. Socialization? Not allowed to talk in class. You're put in a room with kids the same age as you (which does not happen in the work world), which is usually overcrowded.

What about Socialization is always the first question people ask you. Why don't they ask about academic quality? Or character development?
Success is measured in different forms by different yardsticks.


***
When we started homeschooling, I felt as though I tucked a child under each arm and jumped off a cliff. Imagine my surprise to discover we have wings.
~ Quote by Maura Seger

Many people are firm believers in sending their kids to school, and not homeschooling them. There are detrimental effects to children who stay at home, isolated from the outside world of their peers. According to Michael Shearer, a former homeschooled child (now an adult), ?Isolating children hurts them and hurts them for life. They never overcome the shortchanging they get from growing up isolated from daily peer social contact? (1996). When children are homeschooled, they are not around children their own age all the time, and they do not develop their social skills. ?Without peers, human personality cannot develop in a normal way. Humans need ?socialization? by peers? (Verhulst, 2000). Shearer even goes on to say that ?Homeschooling is a national tragedy, especially since so many classroom educated people can?t relate to the harm it does. They can?t think back in their minds as to what a horrible experience it was growing up alone and later in life having to face peers without the social skills they would easily have acquired had they not been incarcerated at home for so many years? (1996). There are some that would strongly argue any of the statements above, possibly arguing that the children are not isolated, but that they get to ?interact? with kids their own age in other places besides school, and on a regular basis. They may also add that their parents are there, and they have a more lasting influence on the children than their peers; however, one source says that ?parents or families have very few lasting influences on the personality of upgrowing children, whereas the peer group of children is much more important in transmitting culture and values and in shaping a child?s personality? (Verhulst, 2000). As far as the tests go, many homeschooled children would do exceptionally well no matter how they are schooled, and homeschooled children are sometimes coached on how to do well on achievement tests (Shearer, 1996). Another aspect of homeschooling that people forget about is that of competition and pressure. Shearer expresses how he never felt as though he was learning more than he would have in a regular classroom school. He knew that without the competition, a little pressure, and the fact that a lot more material was being covered in classrooms, that he was not keeping up. Michael ended up being behind, with big gaps in his learning. ??Classroom educated people forget about how competition, pressure from the teacher, peer pressure and so on, encourages students to learn,? says Shearer (1996). Shearer also explains that when the students get together to socialize that they are not really developing the skills, they are socially starved children socializing with each other. The experience does not give the children real world experience in how peers relate to each other (Shearer, 1996).
The homeschoolers just cannot seem to win in this area. Students that are not homeschooled will not treat the homeschooled child the same way that they treat their close peer relationships, and it just is not fair. According to Guterson (1993), a working public school teacher as well as a homeschooling father, ?Calling kids homeschoolers seems mostly a way to reduce, psychologically, their possibilities, to cut them off from the possibilities of public education, and finally to drive the wedge deeper between home and school, as if the two inherently preclude each other? (p. 185). Psychological problems were formed for Michael Shearer because, he says, of his isolating childhood. ??Because I hadn?t had close peer relationships for years after a few years after homeschooling, I didn?t want peers to see me as anything but perfect?this means I wasn?t going to act real in front of my peers? (Shearer, 1996). He did not know what to say and not to say, and it did not have to be like that. Shearer is an avid believer that homeschooling should be illegal ?because the government has a right to protect children from parents who abuse their children by isolating them at home? (1996).
In an effort to refute the arguments set by those that think socialization is a problem, there is a quote stated by Isabel Lyman, who wrote a book on the subject, given in an article written by Wagner, that says, ?Defining socialization is an arbitrary exercise. If by ?socialization? one means the ability to control obnoxious behavior, knowing how to carry on a conversation, being responsible enough to hold a job or support a family, contributing to the community, and so forth, then there is no evidence that homeschooling parents have failed their children? (2001).

From:
Homeschooling: Good or Bad?
Emily Kassir
Professor Patricia Ryan
ISTC 201.470


May 8, 2002

I think you have a skewed view of high school. Drinking and drugs aren't in epidemic proportions in school. There are cliques, but there not just for the poplular kids. I remember in high school that the geeks would sit together, the cheerleaders would be together etc... I'll give you keeping up in the latest trends, but prejudice isn't that prevelent. You're not allowed to talk in class (that's why people pass notes), but you are allowed to in the hallways. As for academic quality, a certified teacher, who knows how to present the classwork, can do a better. Besides if you don't like the public school system you could send your kids to private school like Goretti in Hagerstown for high school, or St Joseph's for elemtary/middle and they all have fiancial aid.

Sorry Yo, but we won't agree on this one.

"...homeschooled children are sometimes coached on how to do well on achievement tests."

And you don't think this happens in public school? It's called teaching to the test and it happens constantly. Everyone is so focused on the test scores, that all they do is work on what they will see on the test. My daughter was about nuts last year worrying about the GLS (Grade level standard) every quarter, and they worked on it incessantly. Want to talk about pressure? The way the teacher made it sound, if you didn't get a perfect score on the test, you would be sent back to pre-K. She was terrified!

Every homeschooler has their curriculum reviewed by either the local school board or another institution (private school). Very specific records must be kept and all work must be made available to the reviewer so that acceptable progress can be documented. If you aren't stacking up, they can make you return an accredited classroom. It may not have been that way when Mr. Shearer was going through it, and the regs do vary from state to state.

I think Mr. Shearer is the exception, not the rule, when it comes to psychological issues. Until I went to college, I was a self-conscious introverted only-child. Yet, I went through the public system. I can't delegate (at all) because I have to do everything myself or it isn't right. I didn't become a team player by working in groups at public school. (I call this "independence", by the way). We all have our issues, but I think whether or not one is educated in a large group environment is the least of the factors involved.

Competition and pressure in the classroom from your peers? Who cares? Why stress over it if you aren't going to get any recognition for doing well (see other forum topic)!

Hey momsapilot, no need to apologise. I think it's great we can all discuss our diverse opinions and experiences and not resort to bashing each other.

While I still don't think homeschooling is for the vast majority of children, I'm sure there are special circumstances that it would be more of a benefit than a hindrance.

The important thing in homeschooling is that the children are monitored by the state (i.e., required to take standardized tests, review of curriculum, etc.) to ensure that the children and parents meet the goals set by the various States Boards of Education.

"Bullies, drinking, drugs, sex ed, crowd control, cliques, wanting to keep up with the latest trends, prejudice, ridicule, and a whole lot more are learned at school institutions. Socialization? Not allowed to talk in class. You're put in a room with kids the same age as you (which does not happen in the work world), which is usually overcrowded. "

Drinking and drugs weren't a big problem when I was in high school. A few kids experimented but no problems of epic proportion. Drinking was a little more common, but just because everyone else drank doesn't mean you children will make the same choice. We had some bullies/ridicule (this was dealt with by the school), no problems with crowd control (not really sure what you mean), had the normal cliques, latest trends - some people kept up with them, but I think it's up to the parents to control this. Swatch watches and Guess sweaters were very popular when I was in school, but I didn't have any and I didn't experience any negative ramifications. Prejudice didn't really come up.

As far as sex ed, I take it you don't want someone else telling your children about the birds and the bees. That's fine. Opt them out the class and suppliment what the school gives. But, know that when they go to college, they will have sex ed (not a class; usually on the dorm/residence hall level). I graduated from Hood College in Frederick (transfered from HJC) and was made to take it when I transfered. Pretty much all of my friends at other colleges (Wilson, Shippensburg, VA Tech, Maryland) reported the same kind of sex ed. In my case, I wouldn't have had any kind of sex ed as my mother was very prudish and didn't speak of those things. She told me nothing except it was a sin if you weren't married. Hello, I think everyone needs to know how there body works.

When I was in middle school, my parents wanted to send me to private school to "escape" all of these things you mentioned. I asked them how was I going to learn to deal with things like this if they sheltered me from them. They had already sheltered me too much and they agreed to leave me in public school.

I see bullies, cliques, prejudice, ridicule, drinking and drugs in every day life. I see bullies, cliques, prejudice, and ridicule in my work environment. I've even had the pleasure of working for bullies before. I don't feel that these are soild reasons for homeschooling. It is far better to learn how to deal with these things sooner rather than later.

I'm not sure what's going on with the school system we have now a days, but my opinion is that the school has diverted away from the fundamentals of schooling and have let too many private entities enter the system with their own agenda's.

I very much resented it when my child came home from school asking me questions about the drugs he was learning about in school. It seems to me that when you didn't talk about things, it was because it wasn't acceptable. When I went to school (ages ago) if you heard of anyone doing these things they were bums and no one hung around them. They were looked down upon. There's nothing wrong with some basics but we have pushed our kids into curiosity overdrive.

Now, after all of this drug education and sex education there is no shyness or taboo-almost everyone is doing it! Between MTV and other explicit television programs promoting these things and the school handing out condoms and more or less telling them that we expect that you will be doing these things, so here we give these to you to try what do we expect.

I just think that SOME of the homeschooling parents have had enough, and they've decided to do something about it. I also thought that some of the homeschooled children also participated in school sports, or am I wrong.

Bluebirder I dont think that it is quite as bad as you make it out to be. The schools are merely a reflection of society as a whole and as society changes so do the schools. If you are referring to the DARE program when you talked about drugs it has been proven by studies that DARE is a total failure and that the time wasted on it could have been used for academics. They looked at kids who had taken DARE ten years before and their rate of drug usage was no different than those who had not taken DARE. It is a "feel good" thing for politicians and police chiefs but schools are either scaling it back or eliminating it. And its not like condoms are being "handed out" in school. In order to get one you have to make a conscious effort to go to the nurses office and ask for one/some. Also...if you don't attend the school you can't play interscholastic sports for the school. Its only fair for the students who do attend the school. How fair would it be to deny a place on a team to a student and give it to a homeschooler who does not attend the school?

I was running into the Valley Mall the other day and flew past the juniors clothing section in JC Penney. I screached to halt and did a double take. This mannequin, in the JUNIORS section mind you, was made to have nipples poking out! (can I say nipples here? ) Not only that, but the white, tight fitted t-shirt on the mannequin had bold, black letters that read, "young, willing and eager". I could understand if the shirt was in Victoria's Secret....well, no. On second thought, that store would not have something that trashy in it. Anyway, I thought it pretty ridiculous. I agree MTV pushes sexuality and even portrays it in a degrading fashion. Some of the things on there make even me blush and I'm 27. I think MTV should have an NC17 rating. But when it comes to sex education and making condoms available in school...I'm all for it. High school is the most common age at where kids start messing around and for most, have their first time. If you don't believe that, you're incredibly naive - wake up. I mean, who didn't see the movie American Pie? They are all trying to have sex for the first time before or on prom night. And it isn't the movies making the kids this way, it is the movie portraying how the kids are today. For the kids, it directly relates to some kind of dorkiness level and right of passage into adulthood. I MUST NOT BE A VIRGIN WHEN I GRADUATE!! Teenagers are crazy, horny little people! I'm not saying that this is right, but the kids are going to do it anyway. They will do it behind your backs. Even those kids who have a level head on their shoulders... they are normal kids and kids make mistakes. So if most of the kids are going to do it anyway, why not be open and honest with them about it? Why not make condoms accessible and teach them about sex so that AT LEAST they go into the situation knowing the consequences, knowing that having unprotected sex could prove to be fatal, knowing that getting pregnant doesn't mean your boyfriend will stay with you forever and that being a mom isn't all about you getting attention or being "cool". Well, it seems I have digressed from the topic of homeschooling. Bottom line is, I'd rather the kids learn from a reliable, safe source then from on the streets or from their buddies or just by going around poking each other senslessly like rabbits! [end rant]

I read a recent study (can't remember what/where, etc.) that said that teenagers that have parents that are open and honest about sex and give their children all the information, have a lower rate of teen pregancy than parents who tell their children nothing or try and hide/withhold information. The teenagers with all the facts made the better choices compared to other teenagers.

Kids are going to get condoms no matter what, all you have to do is go to Sheetz and put money in the bathroom machine. I don't think it's the school's job, however, to give our kids birth control, school's a place to learn algebra and American Lit.

Did ya see the teenage girl who graduated from HCC? She was a homeschooler!!

I just knew someone was going to bring that up!

ok I was homeschooled and I basicaly didn't have any homeschool friends. My friends didn't treat me differently and also I was in school for different times. Homeschoolers can actually be more socal...the few I knew, I wasn't really. It depends on the child! Just what I have to say...

I disagree with this. Not all HS parents are.

I agree with pretty much everything Yossarian said. I also believe that children should not be homeschooled and she be put into a "regular" school. Why make the child miss out on such things as school clubs, sports, etc. Besides, if the parent is not an accredited teacher how will the child get into a good college.

Splain yourself, Newgirl. What do you think then? Let us hear it.

I do think a child should be in a public school exspecilly through middle and high. Just the anti socal and all the things like they are stupid or disabled, just things people say about homeschooled kids and parents. excuse the spelling I ain't feeling too good.

Are you being homeschooled, Newgirl?

You're killin' me...

Thanks to you Heather

I now keep a roll of paper towels and some windex next to my monitor

Answered my own question...

Homeschooling, like public schooling, can be good or bad for any particular child. On the whole, everything I have heard supports homeschooling over public schools, but I realize that's partly because I tend to listen more often to the kinds of sources that tend to support homeschooling.

I've had friends who homeschooled their kids when they were really young, but let them try out the public schools a time or two. By High School, the one who did best in the public school attended it, while the others, who did better at home stayed there.

My sister homeschools all 4 of her boys, and they're all well ahead of their grade level on most subjects. They go on plenty of field trips and have plenty of other interaction with other homeschooling families in their area. Admittedly, they don't get as much opportunity to socialize with the alcoholic, drug addicted and other antisocial elements. But that's usually considered a benefit by their parents.

IMO, the biggest advantage to homeschooling, especially as they get older, is that the kids who are homeschooled aren't subject to as much of the brainwashing and particularly, the humanism, secularism, and even paganism that pervade the public arena. You still have to prepare them to deal with it - to have a ready answer - when they encounter it later, but at least they're kept from it during the most vulnerable years. Some kids need that protection, some do okay without it.

Don't worry, that's what college is for.

What college did you go to? J/k

So true, in my personal experience. And I went to a Christian college!

That doesn't matter, most religious affiliated colleges don't force what many consider Christian values on the students, unless you go to like Bob Jones University or Eastern Mennonite University. I'm proud to say, however, that I never did drugs in college, although drinking may be another story.

No but I was....for some of it.

He He I am reading over my posts and I have awful spelling. I could spell it right if I felt like it...

hmmm....

the product of a homeschooling environment???

{no offense}

let's not judge ONE person that was homeschooled and has atrocious spelling and definitely not the best way of putting their thoughts into words. The lack of education on her part reflect's on her superior, not totally on her. It is sad to see someone that wouldn't want to at least try to double check their post before adding it to a public forum...

I'm sorry if I offended FIB, that wasn't my intent. I don't criticize others for their spelling, mine leaves a lot to be desired sometimes also. But NG did open herself up for comment. I don't hold it against anyone for being home schooled - I hold it against those responsible for the decision.

it's all good Yoss- I wasn't offended per say, just don't want everyone taking one person as the "model student" for homeschooling, kwim? As for NG leaving herself open, that is quite obvious lol. Your comment about "holding it against the person responsible for the decision" what about if it's the child's choice? I myself was homeschooled through high school after attending public school through the eighth grade. It was a choice that my Mother gave me after I expressed my disgust with my experience in middle school. I didn't want to attend the high school in my district & living in Sharpsburg a private school wasn't really an option due to the high tution & cost for transportation. I throughly enjoyed my experiences while being homeschooled. I learned alot of things that aren't taught in public school & had the opportunity to attend many field trips that a public school might not offer. One huge advantage of homeschooling is the "one on one" teaching & attention that the superior, parent, etc. can give. If a parent is truly dedicated to their child's education (as most every homeschooling parent has to be) then a child can truly succeed academically as well as socially.

I'm against homeschooling, mostly because of personal matters.

But you hit the right note when you said "...If a parent is truly dedicated to their child's education (as most every homeschooling parent has to be) then a child can truly succeed academically as well as socially."

The key words, imho, are "truly dedicated". Some kids are homeschooled for all the wrong reasons.

so true! I was very lucky to have a mother that was truly dedicated to my education. I think alot of parents that get into homeschooling don't realize how much is involved in teaching their child(ren). It's not as easy as giving out assignments and then checking the work. If you really want to make a difference in how much the child absorbs & retains then you need to get involved, stay involved and not be afraid to get your hands dirty. Too many parents these days have gotten lazy when it comes to furthering their children's minds.