You will require several years of therapy just for the shame and embarassment.
I'm laughing my ass off, SMan. I did the same thing. I used to be too embarassed to tell anyone, but my secret got out. I got hooked on the episode called Tabula Rasa where Willow casts a spell to make everyone forget who they are. I was a huge closet fan for about one year and then I caught up with all the past shows and watched the ending of the seventh season. Now I rarely watch. I used to hang around in Buffy forums to wait on spoilers of the next episodes. Yeah, it was bad. The fan base actually consists of more highly intelligent people than love-sick, goth, teenage girls. There are actually studies and conventions on the TV series. Some people take it very seriously. I saw it more as a skewed soap opera type addiction. Some people think there are several layers to the show and analyze everything. For example, some will argue that killing vampires is actually a metaphor for racism.
Check this out. Scholarly studies on Buffy...
The Online International Journal of Buffy StudiesAn exerpt from "'The Monsters Next Door': A Father-Son Dialogue about Buffy, Moral Panic, and Generational Differences."
by Henry Jenkins III and Henry G. Jenkins IV
"Writer Jane Espenson's powerful third season barbecuing of censorship politics, "Gingerbread" seems like a point by point laundry list of the major battles following Columbine: various well known civil cases, the Congressional hearings and national parental overreaction. Kids wind up dead and the concerned adult community chooses the entire Wiccan culture as a scapegoat for their aggressions -- burning books, searching lockers, shutting down the internet, locking their kids in their rooms and throwing away the key, the very same things I saw happening around me. But what amazes me is that the episode was in no way inspired by Columbine. "Gingerbread" was filmed over four months prior to the massacre. So how could she have so eloquently captured the voice of America's patronized youth?"
Interesting, no?