OK, so the end of the world didn’t happen.
Time to regroup.
1. I guess I have to keep being a nice guy. I have a fantasy of being Bill Murray’s character in “Scrooged” for like a week ...
2. I suppose I won’t give a dirty look to the woman who just butted in front of me in line at the post office.
3. Figure out how to pay for that 90-inch plasma TV and gold-plated toilet I just purchased on QVC using an 18.9 percent interest-rate credit card I thought I would never have to pay.
4. Take back my generators and 16 packs of “D” batteries.
5. Schedule an “It’s a Wonderful Life” viewing marathon this week to remind me how lucky I am, and we all are that the world did not collapse into a large sinkhole in Zullinger, Pa.
Where do we go from here now that we’ve realized the Mayans were wrong? How do we look ourselves in the mirror? Speaking of reflections, that 90-inch plasma is glare-free. Sweet.
Anyway, we have plenty of work to do as we prepare today for Christmas and the start of a new year in a little more than a week.
So, in the spirit of the season, I’ve decided to share my grown-up Christmas list for the world. Or at least for us here in the states. We have enough trouble of our own to figure out.
1. A 50-foot-tall stop sign. We need to stop removing God from everything we do. Whether you believe in him or not, there’s no question in my mind that the world would be in a lot better shape and people would be a lot nicer to each other if more of us lived according to the rules and guidelines put forth by him.
At the very least, the presence of the Golden Rule (you know, the do-unto-others theory) could make people stop and think before they act or speak in a harmful manner.
2. The tools needed to fix this “fiscal cliff” thing. I’m eager to commit the fiscal cliff term to memory just like we did the term “replacement referees” in the NFL.
In both cases, the sides thought they needed to prove a point and grandstand. Lots of people were hurt and at least upset by what happened.
In the case of the cliff, the two parties need to return quickly from vacation and get a deal done. Bury the egos, roll up your sleeves and find a solution that benefits the majority, not the 1 percent.
I realize that I’m oversimplifying, but you would think those calling the shots realize the impact of what doing nothing would do. Oh yeah, send the country over this alleged cliff. I think we’re all in agreement that the cliff is a bad thing.
3. A bell to remind local elected officials that they represent us, not just themselves.
As far as I’m concerned, any paid elected official or manager who supports raising taxes without thoroughly examining every possible way to decrease expenses and increase revenues should get a lump of coal in their stocking. I know I’m getting a lump when the Franklin County, Pa., and Washington Township, Pa., property tax bill arrives in January.