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I have never been so embarrassed in all my life.
I got a call to meet with the NFL commissioner the other day.
I feel like I’m being called to the principal’s office. I don’t really know what he wants with me.
I could be positive and figure he wants to commend me for my outstanding work in the world of football prognosticating. I’ve been an under recognized stalwart in that field for such a long time. Those Herald-Mail hacks don’t know what they have.
Maybe he wants to pick my brain to see just how I figure out so many games successfully.
Maybe he wants information so he can lay a bet on the game.
Oh, wait a minute! I didn’t say that! I don’t think the commissioner is allowed to place bets.
Testing. Testing. Big Brother, erase that from the tape.
Maybe I should be worried. Maybe he does want to pick my brain, for real.
He might think I’d be a perfect test case for the NFL’s concussion research. He probably heard somebody yell “You are out of your mind,” after reading my picks.
There was that one time someone asked me if I had been dropped on my head.
I was supposed to be a guest on Hard Knocks, but the camera wasn’t big enough for me AND Rex. Talk about needing a wide shot. Or maybe that guest appearance on Slam Dancing with the Stars is catching up with me.
No, I’ll bet he wants to name something after me because of my long service to football. There’s the Lombardi Trophy and the Hunt Award, named for a couple of great football figures. Maybe the NFL Man of the Year Award will now be known as the Sydizen of the Year.
No. No. I know. He has seen me walking around with my coaching whistle. It’s like my American Express card … I never leave home without it.
He wants me to take over as the top replacement referee and has found a way for me to work all 16 games on a weekend. That’s the only way we are going to get this thing done right.=
Oh, Oh. I just had a thought. Maybe that isn’t it at all.
Is there a possibility that some things I’ve said got back to the commish?
I just remembered ... I had an innocent conversation with someone who recognized me by my barbecue stain in the grocery store.
It must have been taken out of context.
I said something about being aggressive when “rolling out” and “wiping up” a problem caused by (C.J.) “Spiller.”
And that I needed to be “quicker in picking up the mess I created,” but I said it in a defensive manner.
And I finished by saying I really needed to “absorb the leak in my containment” jar.
I guess I should find a coupon for Brawny instead of Bounty.
I know that is a touchy subject these days.
On with the predictions. Last week 17-5 (.773), season 29-12 (.707).
HIGH SCHOOLS
Williamsport 22, Poolesville 15
North Hagerstown 31, Oakdale 21
Boonsboro 38, South Hagerstown 33
Smithsburg 21, Manchester Valley 13
Clear Spring 34, Hancock 20
Chambersburg 37, Gettysburg 19
Susquehanna Township 24, Greencastle 14
Camp Hill 28, James Buchanan 7
Dunbar (D.C.) 35, Jefferson 12
Parkersburg South 28, Musselman 26
Hedgesville 21, James Wood 14
New Oxford 31, Waynesboro 18
Martinsburg 34, Morgantown 21
Frankfort 41, Berkeley Springs 13
Mercersburg Academy 22, Spingarn 14
Bishop Walsh 33, Saint James 26
COLLEGES
Maryland 35, UConn 17
Penn State 27, Navy 13
West Virginia 47, James Madison 14
Shepherd 42, Seton Hill 13
PROS
Ravens 24, Eagles 14
Redskins 31, Rams 24
Steelers 21, Jets 10