On Thursday night Stephen Colbert had some fun at the expense of the “world’s most powerful religious leader." Nope, not Pope Benedict XVI (though he got some air time too) but, rather, televangelist Pat Roberston.
“In a world full of war and poverty and moral decay, Pat is always willing to confront the eternal questions,” Colbert said -- questions like, “Are the clothes I buy at Goodwill possessed by Lucifer?”
Earlier this week on “The 700 Club,” Robertson counseled a viewer worried that her frugal secondhand wardrobe might be tainted by evil spirits. (I mean, we’ve all been there, right?) In his wisdom, Robertson advised the viewer that while, yes, “demonic spirits” are capable of attaching themselves to inanimate objects, not every sweater she buys at Goodwill has demons.
Colbert agreed, adding that the only sweaters she needed to be worried about were the V-necks (particularly those low-cut ones). With that in mind, he issued a consumer alert to his viewers to steer clear of thrift shops.
“Everybody knows evil spirits are suckers for rayon slacks, broken blenders and classic albums like ‘Ken by Request,’ ” he joked.
If you do buy secondhand clothes, you should take care to purify them before wearing. Luckily, as Colbert noted, most manufacturers “print detailed demon-banishing instructions right on the tag along with a series of occult symbols no one understands.” So that’s what those things are!