Regarding the Swim That Shook The World, we have one Republican congressman, a Rep. Jeff Denham of California, claiming that he and his wife were fully clothed when they plunged into one of the holiest bodies of water in the world during a drinking party. Rep. Ben Quayle (R-Ariz.)—that’s right, son of Dan “I wish I knew Latin so I could talk to the Latin Americans” Quayle—swears he was in the water no longer than 30 seconds, which is like a woman claiming she got only a little bit pregnant.
The sackcloth and ashes award, though, goes to Kevin Yoder, a representative from Kansas (of all places) who actually did the dirty deed in his birthday suit, as they probably say out there in his home district.
Let’s just say for a second that it had been an all-expenses-paid junket of Democrats who decided to throw back a few in the Land of Milk and Honey, then take a cleansing dip in the sacred waters, rather than Republicans. And I’m not saying it couldn’t have been—politicians are politicians, and they all act the same when somebody else is paying the freight, which is to say like frat boys on homecoming weekend. This bunch just happened to get caught.
They’d have been—if you’ll pardon the expression—crucified. Godless liberals desecrating the very waters upon which Our Lord took a stroll.
Besides, liberals are more likely to give the whole thing a horse laugh and move on after a few days, rather than feign indignation. That’s about all the incident deserves.
As for Yoder, the people in his district can decide whether to place him in the stocks, or whatever.